Green-Eyed Blonde
May 21, 2008, by Christie Healey
I’m trying to find a thread to pick up and sew into the fabric of my life. I want to weave a thicker, stronger cloth—one that will protect me and keep out the night chills. There’s no going back to the beginning, no way to alter the experiences and the mistakes. Only the urge to try and discover a truth about myself that incessant searching has blurred. Two marriages, one child and inexplicable deep friendships with those I have met over my long romp of a life provide clues, but the pattern in this imaginary cloth appears to be missing.
Wednesday’s Child, I have far to go. Time to take stock of my travels and see if there is a skein stretching back to a tiny village in the industrial middle lands of England.
I live in America’s Heartland now and spring has arrived and with it, my usual desire to “start anew.” I know this desire will last until the first seven hot days in a row of summer, but that foreknowledge doesn’t stop me. This year I am going to increase my giving, from my wallet, experience and heart. Starting with Kiva, a fab website that allows you to microinvest in people’s dreams and necessities.
I will use my experience by listening to people who are trying to weave their own fabrics and see if I can find a common thread to help them.
My heart? Well, that’s a little more difficult. But, I received a glimpse of possibility yesterday. The law firm where I work hosted a reception for Thomas L. Friedman, Pulitzer prize-winning author and New York Times columnist. I have read his book The World Is Flat: A Brief History of the 21st Century and highly recommend it to those who are not already hip to this extraordinary mind. Early in his career, Mr. Friedman was a New York Times correspondent in Lebanon. He has written extensively about his experiences in the Middle East; From Beirut to Jerusalem vividly captures these times. One of my colleagues asked a question about Lebanon and it was Mr. Friedman’s response that gave me the flash of personal inspiration. He hesitated and then said, “It broke my heart, and I cannot see how the divisions and conflicts can be solved.” Anguish flickered across his face. Then he brightened and said, “I am in the business of optimism; I don’t do pessimism. There is always hope.” Mr. Friedman went on to talk about how Barack Obama seems to be calling to the American consciousness and invigorating the collective imagination for what can again make us a great nation. He opined that if we can make the 21st Century the “Green Century” we would discover untold solutions to insoluble problems. This is the topic of his next book.
I am broken-hearted too, but I shall also be in the business of optimism. I’ll start weaving my metaphorical fabric with brighter colors; yellows, reds, blues and greens. Oh yes, definitely greens.
May 21st, 2008 at 7:39 am
Thanks for the optimistic look at the present and the future. I was exposed to Kiva.org last holiday season and it is awesome! For just a small amount of money, just $25 (less than the cost of dinner) you could help an individual or a family in a developing country to start or sustain a small business. Microlending is where it’s at — using the “it takes a village” model at the core. And the Green Century? I’m all over it!
May 21st, 2008 at 9:12 am
What an incredibly lovely piece of writing. Only a mature heart could pour forth so much emotion and wrap it up so beautifully in the metaphor of needlework; women’s work. I really sensed your pain at choices and wrong turns taken in your past, and the need, as the final years move closer, to repair and mend not only your own personal mistakes, but those our peers (in age, not in reasoning ability) have made that will impact our children and our children’s children for decades to come. Thank you so very much for sharing the information about Tom Friedman’s book and Kiva.