Stepping Off Cliffs and Other Acts of Midlife

Filed Under All Posts, Family, Group Posts, Prudence Baird, Reinvention | 4 Comments

I didn’t even tell my closest friends until I was absolutely sure. After all, there is no turning back from a decision of this magnitude. Either you’re on the bus or not.

The first person I confide in is my hair stylist.

“I’m moving to Vermont!” I holler over the cacophony of blow-dryers and snarky conversations.

“Are you gonna open a bed and breakfast?”

Okay, cliché, but a fair assumption.

Vermont at my age—okay, fifty and change—must mean I feel a need to reinvent myself, right? Leave behind the expensive highlights, the freeway traffic and slip into a more relaxed lifestyle. Read more

Reinvention

Filed Under All Posts, Connie Stetson, Group Posts, Reinvention | 3 Comments

Reinvention. I don’t love this word as description for how I am experiencing my midlife. It sounds too phony, too deliberate, too “Madonna,” too male. I prefer emergence, awakening, unfolding, release and renewal. In fact, I hope to never have to “re-invent” myself again.

We moved a lot when I was a kid. I went to four different high schools in those four years of school. I learned to reinvent myself as a coping mechanism. As a way to adapt, to fit in, to get people to like me and to be less afraid. Read more

Fauna v. Flora

Filed Under All Posts, Christie Healey, Environment, Politics | 6 Comments

My garden is in bloom and I am planning my annual adventure into growing my own food. Last year I luxuriated in my homegrown tomatoes until I worked out that each bite of plump juicy red flesh had cost about $3.14; I could have bought a pound of locally grown for about $2. The rabbits that have taken up residence under the deck enjoyed most of my other horticultural efforts. They decapitated tulips, bit into squash, trashed ferns after deciding they really didn’t like the taste and gnawed the Hostas down to the flora version of bloody stumps. This year will be different.

Rabbits in your yard are cute. Rabbits in my yard are a national threat and I need to take appropriate action. Read more

On Being Hormonal

Filed Under All Posts, Carine Fabius, Humor, Relationships | 10 Comments

Bonjour, I’m hormonal. So, I’m wearing my motorcycle crash helmet around the house. No, I do not ride a motorcycle. The helmet is so that if I give in to temptation and bang my head against the wall, I will not hurt myself. And the pull to do it on an evening such as this one is so strong that I can easily be confused with a crackhead on withdrawal.

It is 11:00 p.m., and I have been in my studio working on jewelry for hours. I am bleary-eyed. When I walk into the kitchen, this is what I see: Read more

The Good Life!

Filed Under All Posts, Family, Melissa Howden, Politics | 6 Comments

There are some times in the year, which are emotional hotspots. Currently I am sitting at the center of one of those places. Not long ago would’ve been my mother’s 74th birthday had she not died of emphysema. Shortly after that was the anniversary of her mother’s suicide just shy of 93 years old. However, I also just celebrated (and attended) the birth of my nephew. I am childless by a combination of choice and timing. My brother is stepfather to my most favored niece Emily who has been my one and only since she was two years old. But this is the first (& no doubt last) newborn child in this part of the Howden line. Read more

My Mother, My Shelf—Thoughts on My Boobs

Filed Under All Posts, Beauty, Connie Stetson, Family, Humor | 8 Comments

“Giant boobies, on my chest.
One points east, the other points west.”

(Sung to the tune of Don Ho’s “Tiny Bubbles”… and if you’re around my age, you know who he was.)

Sadly, the words to this little titty ditty are prophetic.

I have large breasts. Not a complaint, mind you. I have always enjoyed a very good relationship with my bodacious tata’s. They are quite nice and symmetrical; my husband describes them as soft, comfy and compelling. Everyone seems to enjoy a hug from me. Sweaters have followed me home, and, yes, men have bypassed eye contact with me all together to carry on deep conversations with them. They’ve been called fabulous. My sister says that no one has enjoyed my breasts more than I have. My sister’s breasts are those charming “champagne glass” types. (Though, they say to never drink champagne from those little bowls, flutes are better. Frankly, I’d drink champagne from a jock strap. I love the stuff). Read more

Why Pet Boutiques Get My Goat

Filed Under All Posts, Cathy Fischer, Humor, Rants, Style | 9 Comments

Coach cashmere sweater, $148

I love my 14-year old cat Cleo. She’s the sweetest, softest, most sensitive little creature on the planet. She demands little except for the basics: food, affection and having her bottom smacked firmly and often. I can understand how people become pet-obsessed—especially when they don’t have kids. But really, Coach collars and Gucci leashes? Quilted handmade booties? I just don’t get it!

From L.A. to New York, Chicago to Austin, beautifully appointed pet boutiques are popping up in the most fashionable parts of town. We’re talking a $30 billion dollar annual industry here, with a projected growth rate of 5 percent—all this while food shortages are occurring around the globe. Not to mention people going hungry right here in the U.S.! Hullo? Is anyone home? Read more

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