Gumby is Fuzzy
July 15, 2008, by Cathy Fischer
I’ll admit it. I need reading glasses.
It took some time for me acknowledge this publicly. A few years back, this was the scenario: I’d be out to dinner at a dimly lit restaurant. It was bad enough that I couldn’t hear (that’s the fashion these days, over-packed rooms with hard surfaces feigning a ‘happening’ atmosphere), but I couldn’t see, either. Casually trying to hold the menu a few inches away, then farther, a bit farther, finally at arms length—didn’t fool anyone. While my girlfriends of a similar age would whip out their fashionable specs, I would scoff because at age 48, I was still able read the fine print, in the perfect light, that is. But alas, I got older and Gumby got fuzzy.
Gumby, the beloved claymation character of my childhood, straddles my showerhead. (Pokey used to shower with me too, but I believe he trotted off during my last move.) Not long ago, while washing my hair, I noticed that greener-than-green Gumby was looking kind of fuzzy. And the print on the shampoo bottle, had also taken on new characteristics. A soft blur surrounded the product name, and the directions: lather, rinse, repeat—undecipherable. (Do we really need those, and why are they so small anyway?)
So I succumbed. I surrendered. I purchased a cute pair of 1.5 reading glasses; the size of a pen, they fit in the smallest handbag or clutch. They are not only practical, but conversation starters as well. I wear prescription glasses at the computer—after all I have to do my job. And while it is almost painful to say, I now own a pair of progressive glasses, stronger at the bottom than the top. But I only wear them part time.
Don’t get me wrong. I think glasses are a great fashion accessory, and I’m all about accessories. (Just ask my pals at my fave store Jest Jewels.) But, accessorizing by choice rather than necessity is what I’m talkin’ about.
Recently, I noticed that watching end credits on the TV screen has become more and more like unscrambling secret code. A little voice that I’m doing my best to ignore, is telling me that this is the dawning of a new age; that somewhere, in the not so distant future, I will most likely need to wear glasses…full time.
This realization is challenging at best for one who has taken pride in her once perfect vision. So, to better cope with this and other uninvited changes, I try to find the lesson in it, and have come to this realization—an epiphany perhaps—about why our eyesight goes soft when we reach middle age:
It’s more important to look inward than outward!
Corny perhaps, but true, don’t you think? As Elizabeth Cady Stanton said, “With age comes the inner, the higher life. Who would be forever young, to dwell always in externals?” There’s even a bonus. When we see our reflection in a softer focus—like the Vaseline lens glamour shots of a 1940s—it presents a kinder, gentler picture.
Now if I could only keep away from my magnifying mirror…
July 15th, 2008 at 8:31 am
I had perfect vision once as well. For full time wear, opt for soft daily wear contact lenses and you’ll still be able to whip out the conversation starter readers. No need to waste a perfectly good accessory.
July 15th, 2008 at 8:35 am
Just wait until you have to wear your glasses to see clearly into your magnifying mirror!! While staying in a hotel last weekend, I smeared a small bottle of lovely rosemary conditioner all over by body rather than lotion! Oy! Better spend more time in eyes closed meditation!
July 15th, 2008 at 8:47 am
About three summers ago, at age 50, I called my husband outside to examine a new breed of extra tiny black ant that had invaded our back yard. “They’re even tinier than Argentinian ants!” I told him. He laughed at me because the tiny “new” ants WERE Argentinians, shrunk only by my eye muscles that were no longer able to zoom in and out like a camera’s diaphram. For the first time, I understood why my elderly mother’s floor was covered with crumbs. To her, the crumbs did not exist because she couldn’t see them. Soon, I suppose, Argentinian ants will cease to inhabit my world. Good for me, but bad for those who visit and see them scurrying around my countertops unhampered by human intervention.
July 15th, 2008 at 9:11 am
I started needing reading glasses at 40. At first I was at first angry & in denial, too. I hated my glasses, and hated that I was dependent on them. Then, a colleague of mine who is at least 15 years younger, but has been wearing glasses most of her life said, “I LOVE my glasses, because when I put them on, everything becomes clear!”
It was at that point that I decided to embrace the fact that glasses exist. What about back in medieval times, when women did all that sewing and needlework, and not a lot else? Imagine not being able to see for the rest of your life, because glasses weren’t invented yet? Or hunters in ancient times, who couldn’t see well enough to bring home the meat (if they were fortunate to live past age 35!?)
I’m HAPPY that cool glasses exist in this modern day & age, and embrace the extra fashion accessory with exuberance! Furthermore, I rejoice that at age 53, it’s my eyes that have deteriorated, but AT LEAST, thanks to Pilates and some lucky twist of genetic fate, my BUTT has not deteriorated so quickly!
July 15th, 2008 at 9:47 am
So La La, WITHOUT your glasses you can’t see what you’re doing, and WITH your glasses, can you even do what you’re seeing? Like readers, the mirrors go up in strength size (to like 12X) Maybe Wishingstick’s solution of contacts is the ticket. Or like the many people who’ve worn glasses since childhood, just live with it, I guess and be happy, as Jillian writes, that we even have the option. I guess a simple inconvenience is really a luxury.
July 15th, 2008 at 10:55 am
I wear see-ers and read-ers. I have been caught with both on at once. It’s not a great look, but hell, I can’t see anyway.
July 15th, 2008 at 12:09 pm
The problem is not the small print instructions on shampoo and conditioner labels, it’s that the larger printed SHAMPOO and CONDITIONER identifiers are just as blurry now. And when I try wearing my glasses in the shower, even just for a moment (in an effort not to wash my hair with conditioner), they fog up so quickly!! And then comes tweezing the eyebrows WITH glasses ON. Very awkward. Maybe this means we’re supposed to give up all this beauty stuff that takes up so much time anyway!
July 16th, 2008 at 9:29 am
Great piece and wonderful perspective. Only problem with me is that its fuzzy when I look inward too!
July 16th, 2008 at 10:54 am
People that have perfect vision and complain about losing it drive me nuts! Not only have I had to wear glasses since I was 12 but it’s ONLY GETTING WORSE with age. Thank your lucky stars that you’ve gotten this far without bumping into walls!
But I guess if I had those gorgeous Cathy F eyes I might take more offense at glasses.
July 16th, 2008 at 5:26 pm
Wait a minute! What’s that between Gumby’s legs???? Whoa! Gumby’s got game.
July 17th, 2008 at 7:42 am
So here’s my problem with reading glasses. Most of the time I can’t find them. True, they are usually on top of my head when I’m frantically looking for them, but if not, who can see to find them in the first place?
July 17th, 2008 at 7:58 am
Well Cathy….welcome to the club. At almost 55, I can still read a freeway sign from two miles, however, I can’t see the numbers on the dash to tell how fast I am going or what radio station I am listening too. The next step is when you keep a pair of glasses in each room, or have to increase the rings on your phone to at least 5 or more so you can find your glasses in time to see the caller I.D. and determine if you want to answer the call.