If At First You Don’t Succeed…
September 30, 2008, by Christie Healey
Haven’t we all fantasized about suddenly and magically being able to exploit some hidden attribute to the astonishment and envy of our friends? Leap on stage and play brilliant jazz piano, grab the mike and really rock a song like Amy Winehouse or Sassy Vaughn, or in a critical lifesaving moment, fluently burst into the right foreign language—all without the years of practice, not to mention having the actual talent in the first place. Waltermittyosis is a condition that I am certain affects 99 percent of the population. What about the other one percent? They include the aforementioned chanteuses, Marion McPartland, Diana Krall and thousands of well-studied multilinguists—all who know what it takes to get to Carnegie Hall.
I have always wanted to have some form of certification for the type of legal work I do. So this summer I completed the first part of advanced intellectual property law course for paralegals. It may not on the surface seem as glam as some of my more extrovert fantasies, but just give me an opening to expound on trademark rules, copyright protection or the origins of patent law, and step back!
I would like to say that it was a breeze, but I cannot. Not that the problems arose solely because of the difficulty of the actual course work. They emanated more from my almost complete lack of appreciation of what it actually takes to accomplish six to seven hours of additional work each week alongside a full-time job. It’s been a long time since I was a single mother, I was completely out of practice and not anxious to go back to that level of multi-tasking and stress.
Denial, just like the river in Egypt, is a slow flowing stream subject to big floods. It was the second week, I still had to master the technicalities of a “distance learning” program and I was two assignments and one external activity behind. Learning had never seemed more distant and the water was lapping at my ears. Panic now replaced denial—which has the same effect as waking up from a coma, jumping into a Maserati and driving away from the hospital. I was alive to the possibility of failure.
I pulled a near all-nighter and caught up. Crikey, I thought I knew something about this stuff before I started. My professor had the patience of Jobe. Her persistence helped me better organize facts and write more detailed memoranda. I began to really appreciate how fascinating the study of law can be. Historical precedents, the roots of which can stretch back to Norman and Elizabethan England, and American Constitutional Law, a brilliant exercise in logic and humanity. I respectfully disagree with Dickens’ Mr. Bumble: the law is certainly not “an ass.”
The first part of my course drew to a close and I awaited my grade with not a little trepidation. I have never done well in exams as all my teachers would rush to testify. I felt certain that my law firm (they are paying for this course) would not send me to my room if I got a poor grade, but the emotional effect would be the same. No worries, I got a 98 percent. I take the next section in January. I may yet get to Carnegie Hall.
September 30th, 2008 at 8:02 am
Christie,
My fellow student-in-arms! What a terrific description of how it feels to be back in the academic saddle. No matter that you’ve raised a child, nourished a career, owned a home, and accomplished a thousand tougher acts of courage, going back to school is on par with public speaking. Most of us would rather strip naked and streak down Main Street. At least it would be over quicker.
The hardest part for me was mastering the virtual classrooms. The second hardest part was zipping my lips when the children were present because a non-stop stream of “WTFs” were on the tip of my tongue as I tried to open applications and documents that would suddenly and mysteriously vanish.
Thank you for letting me know that I’m not the lone ranger. And congrats on being the smartest girl in the class! You get the Hermione Granger Award!
September 30th, 2008 at 9:15 am
Oh brother, going back to school is just so hard. Even worse was prepping for the CBEST, a test needed for entrance to any credential program in California. I was going to teach English, why did I need to know how to do algebra. When I got that CBEST passage card in the mail, I broke into tears…you’d think I had won a Nobel Prize.
You are a brave woman. It is so hard to go back to school…when I finally wound up back in the classroom, I had enormous empathy for my students whenever I gave tests. I guess that’s a good thing.
Christie, you get an A+ for having the guts to put yourself out there. Seriously.
September 30th, 2008 at 9:26 am
98% you sly kittie! you didn’t tell me! well, ’til now. Congrats! Not that I’m surprised.
September 30th, 2008 at 9:32 am
I don’t know a single woman (or married one, for that matter), who gets to be done. Market forces make it necessary that we stay current, connected, viable, and employed. Beyond that, we ‘wimmin’ are just a curious lot. We like to know things and do things and make things happen. I read an article that stated that men do very poorly when they find themselves suddenly alone, yet women alone, thrive. We travel, volunteer, become life-long learners. That we women seem to find a richness in life throughout our lives. Gee, I hope so. Thanks for the inspiration Cristie. We ain’t dead yet.
September 30th, 2008 at 11:23 am
Is this a movement? Is everyone in the world going back to school? I know at least five people who just took or are taking teacher training courses to become yoga instructors. These courses are hard! Course work, test taking and shocking number of classes to attend over months and months in order to pass. I would never go back to school but it makes me proud to know that you brave souls are out there doing the hard stuff.
September 30th, 2008 at 6:54 pm
I have nothing witty or pertinent to say about this article…..but I would like to wish my lovely blogger friend Cathy a very Happy Birthday! I hope you all will join me. Happy Birthday Cathy Fischer!
October 1st, 2008 at 12:56 pm
I was just in the middle of yet another Online class for teaching technology when I got so bored that I read this email! What timing! I have taken so many online classes so that I can teach-it is ironic. Wow have i changed,I use to pick my classes if the professor was cute now I am happy to sit at home taking classes in my pajamas.
October 2nd, 2008 at 7:32 am
Bravo for you smarty pants! This online education, e-learning business is not for me. What I liked best about school was interacting with class discussion, other students and inspiring teachers. I don’t know how y’all do it. I’d probably be ditching class and watching Project Runway reruns…