Wigging Out
January 13, 2009, by Cathy Fischer
Breast Cancer update: I had donated my breasts to science last June, got new ones (no they’re not bigger), went on Tamoxifen and thought I was back to the “new” normal. But, things have changed. I’ve since decided to go the chemo route, based on second and third opinions, and to cover all my bases. I’ve had one treatment thus far and, as predicted, my hair started falling out precisely two weeks after my first chemo blast. I kept a diary of sorts: from hirsute to hairless, in just three days.
Hair Fall-Out: Day One
I’m taking my wig for a test drive today. My hair is starting to come out. It’s much shorter, since I cut it a couple of weeks ago to the nape of my neck; so it’s not as bad when I see a sink full of hair. But, it’s no frickin’ picnic.
I’ve long been a shedder. Lots and lots of hair: hair to spare. How long until bald patches happen? When do I go for the military buzz cut? When my part resembles parting of the Red Sea?
I put the La Charme wig cap on my head. I pulled the nylon (as in pantyhose) cap down over my face, and looked like I was ready to rob a bank. I really didn’t want to draw that much attention to myself on my first outing, so I pushed it back, which reminded me of the actresses of days gone by—Gloria Swanson, Garbo, those true glamour girls of Hurrell’s Hollywood portraits. I was ready.
I went to Trader Joes…looking kinda crazy. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Not a bad wig, kind of a Jane Fonda Klute shag, but it looks like a wig and I kept wondering if I didn’t look like the Caribbean lady I often see at the bus stop, her matted Godiva locks askew as she gestures and yells at her invisible friends.
Day Two
I’m trying to think of the pros. The cons are obvious, no?
“Think of the joy of several months free of the chore of waxing or shaving your legs, underarm or bikini line.” —cancerbackup.org
Joy?? That word has not yet come to mind.
OK, the pros: One sure way to get complements is to tell your friends you’re going to be bald. Who knew I had such great bone structure?
Saving time and money: If I had a nickel for each hour I’ve spent on hair maintenance and products—cutting, drying, styling, straightening, coloring, highlighting, de-frizzing—I would be a rich woman. Not to mention all the time lost during those hours trapped in salons aka “hair prison”.
Hiatus from shaving and plucking: Please let me keep my eyebrows—or as my European mother calls them “eyebrowns”—and my eyelashes.
Last night I slept wearing a hair net to keep the hair from pulling off on my pillow. I looked like the cafeteria lady. “Would you like some mashed potatoes with your meatloaf, Hon?”
Day Three: Pre-Buzz
Enough hair debris! Today I’m going to do it. Go for the buzz cut. My kind friend David said it would “be an honor” and he and my dear pal Rebecca (The Mermaid Queen) have offered to do it in their home. Rebecca is sure to keep me laughing and distracted as David does the buzzzzing. I decided not to go all ritual-like and just DO IT! Did I mention that I put vodka in my health juice drink?
Day Three: Buzzed
David did a great job. As their 24-year-old black cat Max sat on my lap, Rebecca reminded me to channel my inner goddess. I’ve been channeling my inner princess for months now, easy, right? Yet, I still have one more stage to go: bald as an 8-ball. Right now my head is Sinead O’Conner-esque (circa 1992, when she torn up the photo of the pope on SNL) and it’s not that bad!
Just before the deed, I called Mara, who’s been through it all before me. She told me it was freeing. I do feel liberated, and really, it’s not that bad. A bit cold though. I think the anticipation was much worse than the reality.
I drove home listening to The Best of Aretha, looking at a beautiful view of the San Francisco Bay, the mountains dark against a most magnificent sunset, knowing this too shall pass and it’s going to be fine. My hair should be growing back in March, and spring is my favorite season.
The weather report predicts rain for tomorrow. There will be NO FRIZZ in my forecast. No bad hair days for a while. See there is an upside to wigging out. And so, I’m planning on buying a blue one, just for fun.
Cathy first wrote about her bout with breast cancer and her favorite charity, Breast Cancer Action, in “My Big Pink Protest” October 2008.
January 13th, 2009 at 6:32 am
To my favorite Bald Jewish Princess……Keep those spirits up. We love you!
January 13th, 2009 at 7:27 am
Hey Doll, I bet you look gorgeous!!! Love you so much!
January 13th, 2009 at 7:39 am
So glad you have this part over with - and yes, as with so many things it does seem the anticipation was the worst part. Please do get the blue wig - maybe a nice beehive, going with the cafeteria lady theme. Hugs…
January 13th, 2009 at 8:20 am
I am soooo bummed and jealous that I didn’t get to buzz you.
No frizz in the forecast seems like a really good thing to me, frizzball that I am.
January 13th, 2009 at 9:30 am
Your head of hair may be gone, but your humor as expressed in your terrifically hysterical blog is just another example that you are always a wonderful breath of fresh hair.
January 13th, 2009 at 10:36 am
Sweet girl–
As the great Randy Travis wrote in his song, “Forever and Ever, Amen”, “But, honey, I don’t care, I ain’t in love with your hair–if it all fell out, I’d love you anyway.” Your beauty has always been about your heart. Your big, beautiful heart.
And who knows, maybe that particular shakra needed to be freed for higher work?
January 13th, 2009 at 11:16 am
Darling, it’s the eyes that are the window to the soul. Without your amazing locks I see with amazing clarity the beauty that is illuminated from within. Having said that I do hope you keep the eyebrowns.
January 13th, 2009 at 11:18 am
Oh my band of angels, thank you, thank you, thank you! Without your deep-hearted support, I’d be just another bald babe in the woods. Love to you all.
January 13th, 2009 at 11:50 am
Lovaaaahhhhh,
You’re a trooper and a soldier and you’re damn funny! I love you and your baldness and now await with you the surprise that comes when it grows back. They say the texture often changes. Of course, your new locks will have a natural anti-frizz built in.
As always, sending you strength, love, healing and now, anti-frizz energy.
January 13th, 2009 at 12:58 pm
OMG! You’re doing it! It is exactly as I remember. My “pixie” lasted about 2 days before the buzz. Your brows and lashes last MUCH longer, but will probably eventually succumb to the poison.
I used wigs to make me happy. I bought five! I got blond, black, red, curly, straight, short, long. One VERY expensive, which looked almost real. The others fairly cheap (in wig terms anyway). Get bangs, it hides the seam and looks less fake. They get kinda hot and itchy, but I loved having all the hair I could never have before.
You’re awesome!
January 13th, 2009 at 1:37 pm
A sheyna meydl with a sheyna punim and a heart o’ gold - fearless you are, sharing all the nitty gritties with us out here in the blogosphere. As another hirsute goddess, I applaud your freedom and wish for you many cute new hats until the weather (and your hair) start warming back up. Love you!
January 13th, 2009 at 4:00 pm
I don’t know why, but wigs are intrinsically funny. Thank God for wigs; they turn almost any drama on its head. And in your masterful hands, Cathy, you’ve proven that once again laughter is the best medicine.
Happy healing. And, P.S., you DO have marvelous bone structure!
January 13th, 2009 at 4:18 pm
Darling Clever Cat, fearless you are indeed and I can only imagine how magnificently your new look shows of your beautiful eyes! Flash those bewitching peepers Dear Girl.
January 13th, 2009 at 8:09 pm
Did the new hair-wig-headband invention work out? Keep on posting. My heart and love go to you.
January 13th, 2009 at 10:34 pm
Yes Virginia, I did get the headband half-hair, hat/scarf gizmo, from a different source. The hair is fake, but it’s fun and youthfully bouncy. So I have four hairstyles right now: the Klute shag, the half-hair open-top bob-like thingamajiggy, the scarf or hat head, and plain old bald. Haven’t gone boldly bald in public, yet…
January 15th, 2009 at 12:09 am
I laughed and almost cried at this one. You go girl!!!
January 15th, 2009 at 4:20 pm
Cathy,
How entertaining your blog was to read, my pretty, witty cousin! Needless to say your beautiful heart, intuitive mind and light hearted spirit will get you through this. Thanks for sharing your experience with such humor and grace. Please keep it going…. I am now hooked up (again)… and can’t wait for the next read!
XXOO H
January 19th, 2009 at 11:19 am
Your beauty will always be inside and out. xxxxxooooo
January 22nd, 2009 at 10:11 am
My dearest angel friend, Cathy. I appologize for not reading and responding earlier. You always have been, are, and always will deeply inspired and wise. The best part is that not only do you inspire me and all of your many wonderful friends and family members, but you inspire yourself. How cool is that? I wish I could rub my hands on your beautiful head and give it a million kisses. Keep on flaunting your magnificent spirit always and everywhere. I LOVE YOU friend of 40 years! xoxo Julie
January 22nd, 2009 at 11:08 am
Cathy, I close my eyes and see golden sunlight beaming down on your virgin head….connecting your spirit to the great mystery……opening your heart to even greater soul and power….
January 22nd, 2009 at 12:37 pm
when are we going to see the photos? I have to believe you are rockin’ the wigs (go blonde, why not?), scarfs and hats.
xoxox
January 24th, 2009 at 8:45 pm
CATH,
YOU ARE TO FUNNY!! I LOVE YOUR HUMOR, WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS
WE CAN ALWAYS LAUGH! IT’S THE BEST MEDICINE. TRY TIEING
A BANDANA OVER THE WIG, IT HIDES THE WIG LOOK AND GIVES YOU
A VERY HIP BOHEMIAN LOOK, WHICH SHOULD FIT IN PERFECT
IN SAN FRANCISCO!
LOVE AND LIGHT
January 30th, 2009 at 8:03 pm
Cathy, I bet you look way more gorgeous than Sinead O, and she’s pretty hot. When you don’t feel like going au naturel, I hope you got the blue wig and you wear it. I think you should get all available neon colors. I’m thinking flapper bangs and bob but hey if the long curly wigs appeal, go for it. My friend wore a pink tinsel sparkly wig and it was fabulous. But I know how you feel about pink… Thanks for sharing this story. Wooooo hooooo!
love,
Em