Gray Texture
February 26, 2009, by Carine Fabius
Can I just bitch for a moment about getting old? I know, I know, there are people starving in America, and I should just be grateful for my wonderful life. And, I am. But let’s face it. Regardless of bombs going off in the world and in the lives of people you love, if a missile has landed in your little universe, you can’t just wish it away. Pettiness and substance often occupy the same space. Life is like that. Okay, disclaimer taken care of. Now can I bitch?
I’ve written on this site before about going gray, and I thought I had a pretty good game plan in place: because it blends so well, start with platinum blonde around the crown, where it’s coming in at a speed rivaling the action in Charlie Chaplin movies; and, that’s been working very well. Until now. Who knew that my nice, soft curls would morph into coarse, wiry pubic hair? Gray pubic hair at that! Can someone tell me why, when I now look in the mirror, what I see is the equivalent of two pussy puffs where my ears used to be? No amount of conditioner helps. Just today I vaulted over to the beauty supply store in search of a keratin-based product because, according to beauty magazines, keratin is the end-all in the new wave of anti-aging hair products. No kidding, they use that term on labels. I am now sick to death of wearing hats and bandanas, and am in a panic because even if I cut it short, I’ll be walking around in that super attractive short pubic look!
The only thing keeping depression at bay, and me in stitches, is the stuff I hear my friends saying about their looks. So, in order not to leave you with my sad and alarming dilemma, instead I’ll leave you with some priceless overheard comments from women I know, (laughing as they talked) about their aging process:
“Yesterday I looked at my gray bangs in the mirror and thought I looked good. Today all I saw was an old sea hag that washed up on the beach.”
“I’ve stopped drinking and I’m walking everyday because when I go to Hawaii next month I don’t want mass evacuations at the beach when I walk out there in a bikini.”
“My face now looks like a zucchini; but not just any zucchini. I mean the long, yellow oval ones.”
“I’ve got that saggy, baggy elephant thing going on.”
“…but the skin around my chin is down to my knees now!”
Woman talking about her skin: “Yeah, I don’t know how it happened.”
After being told by a friend that she’s happy her husband doesn’t have his glasses on when they make love: “So, people our age who have their glasses on…do they see my big pores, and whiskers coming out of my chin?”
Thank God we have each other. Just this morning, looking like I will at 90, I ran into a woman I know as I walked the dog. “You look great!” she said. “You always do, but even more so today!”
What a liar!
February 26th, 2009 at 8:32 am
I am shocked by this blog. Absolutely shocked. That anyone our age is still making love with their spouse–glasses or not–is shocking.
February 26th, 2009 at 10:50 am
I have inherited a great deal from my mother’s gene pool. Some good, some not so good. I started turning prematurely gray when I was in my early 30′s, so now, it’s like keeping a Tsunami at bay. Five years ago, I suggested to Carmine Hogan my longtime friend and hairdresser that perhaps I should just “go gray.” I kid you now, every hairdresser in the salon started laughing hysterically. Carmine just looked at me and said: “no.” Truthfully, pretty soon it’s gonna be time to ask again — I wonder what she’ll say — although this time I may whisper it in her ear.
February 26th, 2009 at 10:55 am
I feel your pain! I don’t want my husband to get his cataracts done because once he can see me “clearly” again– the older me, not the younger me he married– I’m certain he will go running and screaming down the street! Welcome to http://www.TheFiftyFactor.com! PS By the way, you look “50 is the new 40″ stunning in this picture.
February 26th, 2009 at 12:37 pm
I once asked my mother why she didn’t tell me about what was going to happen to my neck. She just said, “there are some things you have to find out for yourself.” Honestly, if she’d told me then, I wouldn’t have believed her. Now every day hold some new horror. I’m just glad we’re all in the same leaky boat. And I do mean leaky…just don’t get me laughing, ya know?
February 26th, 2009 at 6:03 pm
I agree with Joanna, who notes the benefits of her husband’s fading eyesight. And yes, YOU look mah-vel-ous in your photo!
February 26th, 2009 at 7:20 pm
Hats are good. Wigs are better. Take it for me. Remember back in the day when men would use dye to make their temples gray so they could look more “dignified’? Well Carine, you are dignified, I can testify to that…and you look fetching in your beret.
February 27th, 2009 at 7:58 am
Well you certainly hit some nerves for all us 50-somethngs. I love your gray hair story and I’d like to share a positive story. I too began the salt and pepper gray journey in my 20′s. As the gray seeped in more and more, my friends kept telling me how much younger I’d look if I colored it. I resisted this path for a long time, knowing the level of commitment I’d be signing on for, before finally giving in. I probably dyed my hair for close to 20 years before deciding about 3 years ago enough is enough. I was sick of the coloring and I wanted to be me, not hiding out, hoping you couldn’t see the new gray sneaking in again at my hairline every couple of weeks. Believe it or not, I loved it and my boyfriend loved it. I would never go back. Carine, you wear it well honey. Be proud!
February 27th, 2009 at 10:32 pm
I feel your pain. I am at the point where I’ve decided to stop fighting the battle of the gray and just let it go. It looks like I will be fortunate to at least get the distinguished silvery color hair my grandfather had. And that will give me time to mount attack plans for some other battles – battle of the chin hair, battle of the sagging body parts – and yes Conz, I understand all too well what leaky means!
February 28th, 2009 at 5:19 am
who the… invented mirrors?
March 1st, 2009 at 9:02 am
Carine, you made me laugh so hard this morning. When I finally got round to washing my face I saw yet another new wrinkle, and yes its a laugh line. Nothing makes a face more youthful and beautiful than a smile, see photo above for proof.
March 1st, 2009 at 11:34 am
All I can say is…gimme some of your gene pool. I want that kind of complaint looking back at me in the mirror.
March 3rd, 2009 at 6:17 pm
Yes, well. It seems particularly ironic to me that while we’re turning gray, dealing with wrinkles and worse, someone in charge decided that making gray hairs wild, coarse and hungry for attention made sense. You are absolutely right, they are like crazy wild pubic hairs. What is the deal?? On the other hand, perhaps it is a blessing that while the gray hairs, chin hairs, wrinkles and worse are happening to us, our close in eye sight goes fuzzy. Maybe that’s the universe’s perverse way of making it up to us?? What a sense of humor. Ha ha.
March 4th, 2009 at 10:57 pm
i don’t know you carine, but you are G-E-O-R-G-O-U-S! gray pussy puffs and all. seriously. oh, and funny, smart, etc (i am making sure to add that in when describing my daughter so she knows those are just as important!). speaking of daughters, i am all too familiar with the leaky faucet after her and her brother paved their way thru my previously fully functioning parts!!!
March 5th, 2009 at 8:05 am
Dear Carine,
Remember it’s not outside that counts but whats inside. How many times have you reminded me of that. As far as I’m concerned you are a fabulous looking women with heart to match.
March 23rd, 2009 at 1:49 pm
I have just been introduced to this site. Hallelujah. Not experiencing “gray pussy puffs” but when you put it THAT way… All through my 49th year I was loving my gray hair. Thought it had some kind of cache that allowed me certain priveledges. I am not sure what happened on the day I turned 50 this past summer, but suddenly I was headed to the salon and never looked back. I love admiring the roots as the try to return, cautiously asking me to remember my wisdom as I pick up the phone and call Michelle for an appointment.
Thanks for this sisterhood that I so need!
August 26th, 2009 at 7:11 am
Time to spill the beans, Carine!!! I do not have curls but have been getting my grey colored with blonde highlights.
Soon it will have to be either all dark or all blonde. I am at that stage of grey hair that is kinky, though, mine is straight, wiry, and makes me want to faint. My body has gone south with my Dad’s genes. So that girl you once knew, looks like a Bubbie (grandmom in yiddish). Actually, I had my freinds little girl over the other day to swim. She is 3 going on 15 and I am 56 going on 76. I felt like her Grandmom, NOT only could I not keep up with her due to my fat azz, she was simply alive with spirit. I, felt like a dowdy, old bag. Inside this voice says to me, “You are still here”, but when I look at myself, its a visual death.
I did not go the route of hormonal replacement, maybe a hugeeeee mistake. No, I listened and took anti-depressants and synthroid for an under active thryoid. So, as I sit here and sip my coffee and smile at your blog, I do not feel so bad. This is the absolute worst, but were we not the generation of Guru’s and the Inner Self, no vanity???
Bullshit….
August 26th, 2009 at 7:16 am
Grey pussypuffs, you should trademark that,