A Classy Lady
June 23, 2009, by Carine Fabius
Mireille Fabius at age 20
Carine Fabius takes a good look at the person behind the role of mom.
It was my father’s birthday recently, and when I called to wish him a happy birthday, he went into a long and detailed account of why he and my mother are so lucky at this time in their lives. It mostly had to do with the great bunch of kids they had. (My father loves to make long, dramatic speeches with well-timed pauses for effect, and this was no different.) As he talked, I kept thinking about how lucky we kids are to have such great parents. And since I once wrote on this site about my father, I’ve been thinking about the classy lady who gave me life. You should meet her sometime!
My mother is physically gorgeous; always has been. Her signature scent is “Le” de Givenchy. She makes great cocktails. She is political, vociferously so. She thinks Haitian Vodou is for the uneducated masses, but she believes in spirit entities and channeled communication. She can cook up a mean batch of rice and beans. She belongs to a gourmet club. She is generous, generous, generous. My mother has a stunning collection of fine jewelry but she spends money on the beaded jewelry I make. She has great Haitian sayings to fit any occasion, like my favorite: So and so “put anger at the service of her shame.” She thinks Vicks Vaporub cures everything, including leprosy. Years ago she smoked Salems. She loves Christmas. She has very strong opinions. She does not suffer fools easily. She likes a good gossip session. Wine gives her headaches. She never lies. Lipstick lights up her face. She loves to shop. She reads all my blogs. She would like me to straighten my hair. She thought America would not elect a black man. She believes in positive thinking. Plants wake up when she walks into a room. She believes in being on time. She is impatient. She likes to tell me what to do but can’t because she lives too far away. She is not cling-y or needy. She recognizes her children’s failings, but supports them nonetheless. She has standing hair salon appointments because she doesn’t like the idea of that dirty water flowing down her back. She recently got hip to emails and forwards stuff to me all the time. When internecine wars erupt in our family, she is the one who quietly encourages each party to “take the higher path” and to “kiss and make up.” My mother is shocked that we sometimes let the dog get in bed with us. I’ve only seen her cry twice. She loves to entertain. She never gets pedicures. She was hurt when I moved out and got my own apartment at age 21. She endures my father’s often-difficult character traits, but she doesn’t like it much. When she answers the phone, her hello sounds like a song. In her heyday she was fashion designer to the famous, infamous and not so famous in our small country. She made my wedding dress; in fact, she is the go-to designer for the wedding gowns of just about everyone we know. She spoke English before moving to the States. She loves Oprah. She can paint. She has enough china, silverware and glassware for 50. She thinks stupidity is an event. She calls to tell me what my horoscope says. She goes off to places like China and Alaska with her girlfriends. My mother loves to dance. She is organized. She prays for me all the time. I hope she never stops.
June 23rd, 2009 at 8:59 am
Oh how I wish I could spend a long afternoon into evening with your beautiful accomplished mother. Thanks for introducing her to us. And–by the way, the nut didn’t fall far from the tree, Carine.
June 23rd, 2009 at 9:17 am
Your mother sounds fantastic and embodies all the principles I strive for. Loved hearing about her. Great story. Love it.
June 23rd, 2009 at 9:36 am
Phew, I am breathless just reading about this amazing woman. She sounds so magical and so real. You swiftly painted us a picture of her. Long may she twirl through this world leaving a trace or Le de Givenchy to let us know she passed by.
June 23rd, 2009 at 7:47 pm
I feel so lucky to have met Mireille in her native Haiti in 1989. She is gracious and melodic…did you say that? And when she stayed in my apartment for your wedding, she loaded me up with so many thank you gifts, I was embarassed that I had not cleaned it better before her arrival. Every Thanksgiving, Christmas and other special occasions, I use the giant serving platter she brought as a gift to a dinner party at my house. Like Mireille, the dish is colorful–bright orange, green and white–larger than life, and made to be surrounded by smiling, satisfied friends. Thank you for sharing these beautiful thoughts about your mother…wherever she lives is richer for her presence.
June 24th, 2009 at 9:55 am
What a wonderful wonderful mom….
I would like to meet her.
Embrace her.. How lucky you are!
June 24th, 2009 at 9:58 am
Carine, when you think, “Oh my, I AM my mother” you can be proud. Lucky you, lucky Mireille. Did you mention that she’s on Facebook? I’m thrilled she’s my friend. What a lovely example of life well-lived.
June 24th, 2009 at 5:22 pm
HOw wonderful your mother is. And now, everytime I wear Givenchy, I will think and smell of her.
June 26th, 2009 at 11:18 am
This made me miss my own mother and wish I knew your mother.
June 28th, 2009 at 5:15 pm
Wow. What a fine tribute to an extraordinary lady! I love the style of this piece - it seems to very much suit its main character too. I really like the design and layout of your site - classy, elegant and clean. I will visit again to be sure!
June 29th, 2009 at 1:44 pm
Carine,
How nice to read this lively tribute to your mom! I like opinionated women (my mother was one, and particularly lately, I’ve found myself missing her deeply deeply. . . she died at 94 two years ago), so it was somehow comforting to learn that both your parents are still around, and together, sending e-mails, making phone calls and giving advice. Enjoy this time. . . and don’t take it for granted.
June 29th, 2009 at 7:23 pm
What a lovely portrait of an amazing lady. You made me want to meet her. She sounds as cool and classy as an Audrey Hepburn film!
August 23rd, 2009 at 3:29 pm
Fabulous article and I have no doubt, Carine you are a knock-off of your Mother. I recently honored my Mom’s 8th memorial. I think this is the first year I was over my issues and stuff. Her loss was like living without your
solar plexus. She was gorgeous, hard working, quiet, always into being a lady. I admire her now for the sacrifice she made so that I could become a spiritual being. I’m into Gurumayi and Siddha Yoga, a Kundalini path.
Recovering from my Mom’s loss has enabled me to honor her for who She was and was not able to become. Carine, you are blessed that your Mother was able to have personal freedom to be herself and honor her children to follow their paths to the Inner Self. Your creativity and happy spirit, Carine, has always been your trademark. Its nice to know who you got it from!