Oh God!
February 10, 2010, by Carine Fabius
Mixed media on canvas by Gregory Vorbe
From miracles to manipulation, nature to nurture, Carine Fabius ponders the big questions.
God has been on my mind lately, but that’s not unusual; God is often on my mind. Maybe I’ve been thinking about God even more because I am from Haiti, and the subject always comes up after a great disaster. You’ve got the typical questions about How can God do this to a people already so down on their luck? And then, there they are, those unlucky Haitians themselves, publicly thanking God for saving their lives (those not crushed to death, anyway). Something bad happens, blame God. Something good happens, thank God! So, who is this entity, that seems to arbitrarily bestow luck on some and tragedy on others? Most likely, no God.
I am not an atheist, but this Judeo-Christian God, who sits in judgment of our tiniest transgressions and promises to deliver eternal damnation if we don’t behave seems downright petty. So, here’s my (still-developing) take on God:
First of all, although it’s bulkier to carry around, I like the term that Native Americans use to refer to that great mystery: they call it the Great Mystery. Seems so much more appropriate! However, using the term in everyday parlance would come off more like affectation than sincere attempt at nailing down my belief on the issue; so I’ll just keep using God, even though the word is loaded.
My feeling is that God is not a being with human characteristics and personality traits. And I don’t think all this business of God being all-knowing, all-seeing, etc., works the way we’ve been taught. God is the life force (or as scientists call it, energy) that lives in everything in the universe. According to scientists, energy can’t be created and it can’t be destroyed, so it is everywhere all at once, i.e., all-knowing, all-seeing, etc. I think it is an intelligent and loving force, but not the way humans relate to intelligence and love. It is intelligent because it permeates a suspiciously identical system for the way things are wired—in nature, in humans, in animals, et al. And it is loving because whenever I’ve had an experience of God, that’s how it felt. Also suspicious is how my own limited but not lone experience of God mirrors what so many from different faiths and cultures describe when it happens to them: indescribable love; immersion in a light that feels like love, or a oneness with everything else in the universe. It is a feeling that is addicting. Some give up everything to live a life dedicated to that love; some go to war in its name.
The opposite of love is fear, or every negative emotion that exists. Living in the negative (committing murder, or being toxic or a pain in the ass) is a choice we make. We were not born negative, we were born innocent and full of joy (when we weren’t crying for food or suffering diaper rash).
I think bad things happen to people—to good people too—because life is made up of good moments and bad moments, which we get to decide how to navigate. God isn’t out gunning for us when we get hit with the bad times. But if we’re smart, we can turn to the love that exists inside us for peace, clarity and strength.
So, once I figured out that God is not the one “making things happen” to us, the next question became Who am I supposed to pray to? And how do I make myself stop saying inane things like thank God!? Because I love to pray. I love to close my eyes and say things like, Please make my book deal come through! Please don’t let this cold be the Swine Flu! And Please make my friend’s health get better! It’s a tough habit to break, but I’m teaching myself to stop asking God for stuff; because I’ve realized that I am that all-powerful energy that lives in everything, and I, as part of that universal life force, can use that power in any way I see fit. All I have to do is ask myself, instead. And as for saying things like, thank God!, I’m teaching myself to say thank goodness instead.
February 10th, 2010 at 7:26 am
you are always on my mind….
any name is a good name, I think, as long, when you say it,or refer to him, it, her… you do feel this love, you are talking about.
I was thinking about the same things today and I believe that we have not really felt anything yet. God (or what ever) is mightier then the word love, we do refer to, but it is made out of something near to this love, that we can experience.
But how can you explain this feeling? Maybe you have to go to this place without space and time, in your mind and all around it, where no thoughts cross the silence…and still no words could probably talk about it, but a smile. Remember Buddhas smile…somewhere there…
February 10th, 2010 at 9:31 am
Why bad things happen to good people is not as perplexing to me as the unfairness aspect. Bad things do happen, but they never seem to touch the truly evil. Why does Dick Cheney’s heart continue to beat when he has orchestrated the deaths of so many? Why do Goldman Sachs executives– whose greed forced thousands from their homes–get to take home $100 million in bonuses this year? Why does W, who sent 5,000 Americans to their death and ruined the lives of countless others, get 24/7 protection, a pension and a life of luxury? This is the Great Mystery for me.
February 10th, 2010 at 10:15 am
“God Dwells Within You as You”
February 10th, 2010 at 1:01 pm
I just finished reading a great old classic about pre-colonial Nigeria called “Things Fall Apart,” written by Chinua Achebe. It chronicles the life and times of a man named Okonkwo before and after the arrival of the missionaries and their version of God. Okonkwo and his tribe and many, many gods which served many uses. Some good and necessary and others contrived, self-serving and manipulative. Having been born and raised Catholic, I quickly figured out that whether you believe in one or multiple Gods — the outcome was the same. We have no idea what’s going on, why we’re here on earth and what the hell we’re going to do from moment to moment and the idea of God becomes a placebo. What’s my point? I have no idea…I just don’t think about God. I try to get the big picture and do the best I can. Lucky for me, I can do it without medication or religion….for now. Oh, and I like to meditate.
February 10th, 2010 at 1:17 pm
To dearpru,
I have no doubt that Cheney and other rotten people are miserable in ways we don’t know about. Just ’cause they have money does not mean they’re happy. Trust me, in ways that count to them–like not being able to get itup, for example–they are paying for their actions big time.
February 10th, 2010 at 5:07 pm
Sorry, Carine. I don’t trust you. I want pictures.
February 10th, 2010 at 11:09 pm
thank you, carine, for this post. i was just talking about this yesterday with a friend and you have summarized our thoughts very nicely. i will forward this to her. thanks!!
February 11th, 2010 at 12:11 pm
Carine, you really touch on so many aspects of this God thing: how we lean on, lean towards and go to “God” for things big and small, deep or selfish. I keep thinking of that Joan Osborne song, “What if God Were One of Us” — sitting on the bus, a homeless person on the street, an inspirational leader, etc. I think God is in all of us. I like the greeting “namaste” because it is said to mean “I honor the Spirit in you which is also in me.” As for the evil doers and the disasters that fall upon the innocent, there is always darkness and light, but to me, faith is more important than the constructed human-like omnipresence, and it’s where to turn to in times of despair. Wow, thanks Carine. You got us all thinking…
March 13th, 2010 at 12:04 pm
Carine,
This article is ,just simply marvelous.It could not have been written any better. I love it. Thanks for sharing .