It’s All About The Peenie
July 7, 2011, by Connie Stetson
From humor to infidelity, Connie gets beneath the fig leaf for this investigative report
One of my favorite jokes goes something like this:
God pulls Adam to his side and says, “My son, my Creation, I have good news and bad news for you.” Adam lifts his countenance upon his heavenly father and says, “Lord? What’s the good news? The Lord says unto Adam, “I have blessed you, my Son, with both a brain and a penis.” Adam is grateful and with great awe says unto his Maker, “So, what’s the bad news?” The Lord responds, “Sadly, I could only manage to give you enough blood supply to work one thing at a time.”
I love this joke. I’d stroke it even further by saying God then tempted Adam by putting his penis on the outside of his body, close to his hand, then told him not to touch it and spill his seed. Talk about forbidden fruit. That God. What a kidder.
My good pal, Joann, whenever we’re all together and the subject turns to the differences between men and women, as it frequently will, wags her index finger above her head and states, emphatically, “It’s all about the peenie!” And given the most recent exposé regarding all things Weiner, (I wouldn’t want it said that because I’m a Democrat I’m soft on Weiner), I’m inclined to aver that she’s spot on. To be fair, if my sex organs were right in front of me every time I looked down, and had the magnificent hydraulics our brothers have, I guess I’d be equally stupefied, mesmerized, and enchanted by my own junk. But Egad, boys, is it really such a narcotic that touching it, getting it touched, talking about it, and taking pictures of it, (most women would never think to tweet their twats), is worth risking your job, your family, and more, your self-respect?
As yet another male politician, this time not a Republican, bites the rhetorical weenie, I’m left simply baffled. What are they thinking? That they won’t get caught, or maybe it’s more thrilling to think they will? Or maybe the little head just has a louder voice than the big head. Bringing to mind one other joke:
“Why does the penis have a hole at the top of its head? So that men can stay open-minded.”
Too bad that punch line doesn’t work with the word “mindful”. As an aside—I think it’s very interesting that a man created the concept of “penis envy”. Freud’s theory that women secretly hate and envy men because of their penises is so far from reality, that it makes me wonder how many pictures Freud would have taken of his pecker if only he’d had the technology.
I have a friend who has a much-envied reputation of being fabulous in the sack. When I asked her what her secret was she confessed that she wasn’t doing anything special, she simply told all her lovers that they had big giant cocks. She said that seemed to do the trick. They kept coming back for more because it’s all about the freaking peenie. Weiner risked it all for getting his peenie freak on. Really? Are men seriously that uncomplicated? Well, I know where I’m landing on the question. What do you think?