Words To (Not) Live By

April 25, 2012, by Carine Fabius

Carine boldly brandishes words and their meanings

Hello, here are some words I would like to obliterate from our vocabulary, dictionaries, lexicons and consciousness.

Bureaucracy (byuu-rok-ra-see) – excessive official routine
How does bureaucracy sound? No, ma’am, I can’t schedule that appointment for you until your doctor faxes us an authorization; No, ma’am, we can’t set up online management of your corporate account until we order an ATM bank card for you (even if you don’t want or need one); Yes, ma’am, if you want to raise the limits of liability on one of your cars, you will have to do it for all three of the cars on this policy. I am so sick of talking to robots, aren’t you?

Cancer (kan-ser) – a disease in which malignant growths form
I think everyone on this planet can say that they know someone who has cancer, someone who had cancer, or someone who died from it. And far too many can say that they currently have cancer. Who invited this bastard to the party?

Depression (di-presh-on) – a state of excessive sadness or hopelessness, often with physical symptoms
Has depression reached epidemic proportions, or what? Every time I turn around, some formerly rational friend is having trouble making simple decisions, is crying about something that happened years ago, wants to get into bed and stay there, feels like life isn’t worth living or is reaching for Xanax, Prozac or Wellbutrin. Is there something in the Kool-Aid? Whatever the cause, this piece-of-crap mental state of affairs is pissing me off and needs to get the hell out of town by sundown.

Racism (ray-siz-em) – belief in the superiority of a particular race
What does racism look like? People in white robes and pointy hats (unbelievably silly); individuals with sunburns on their necks (Haven’t they heard about skin cancer?); Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas (Was that guy born blind and raised by a white family wearing pointy hats?); a dead young boy carrying candy and wearing black skin and a hoodie in a mixed neighborhood; more black men in prison today than were enslaved in 1850. Holy bloodhound! Black men make up 40.2 percent of all prison inmates even though they constitute just 13.6 percent of the U.S. population. What’s up with that? Racism is unbearably old-fashioned, committed to being dull, noisome and has zero sense of humor. This sucker’s from another planet and he’s breathing too much of our air. Let’s send him back.

Insomnia (in-som-ni-a) – habitual sleeplessness
Check it out: that’s me waking up two hours after going to bed—usually for a trip to the bathroom—and then rousing again between four and five o’clock and staying awake until 45 minutes before I have to get up at eight. Isn’t that nice? To Satan, maybe; but I am not Satan. That bleary-eyed, thick-witted person you see bumping into walls around four in the afternoon? That’s me too. And I am not wrong when I say there are multitudes that look just like me. Human beings are meant to lie down when they are tired, fall asleep, stay that way for a consecutive number of hours, and then get up feeling refreshed, lively and ready to start the day. Something is wrong with this picture and I’m blaming it on the hostile jackass who will only retreat if you throw Ambien at him. Forget warm milk and homeopathic pellets; that’s for puppy dogs. Insomnia has invaded the lives of people over 50 at an alarming speed. We need to write that out-of-control asshole’s name on a chalkboard and then erase the shit out of him.

Do I seem just the tiniest bit angry to you? Honey Badger don’t care! Besides, getting mad is often the first step to taking action. Let’s go after that cancer bastard and give him a grand escort out of town. Care to join me in forming a posse?

What’s got you heaving?

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10 Responses to “Words To (Not) Live By”

  1. dearpru Says:

    As one of your formerly rational friends, may I offer this recent headline that sent me running to the medicine cabinet and then the liquor cabinet for a vodka chaser:

    “Big banks bundled toxic debt, sold it to rubes, then bet against it and won big.”

    And who went to jail? Martha Stewart and a bunch of dewy-eyed protestors who thought that by occupying Wall Street they could make a difference in a rigged system that we are all feeding in one way or another.

    I rest my case. Pass the prozac.

  2. Conz Says:

    I am one of the walking sleepless. Huh? is my new credo. Honey badger Don’t Care? Please. I have the t-shirt.

  3. Cathy Says:

    Carine, I am with you on all of those terms and what they represent. I will add another: anti-aging. Come on! That’s an oxymoron, with an emphasis on “moron”. We are all aging, even babies; can’t fight it. Another marketing ploy to separate us from our money and make us feel inferior. I’m sick of it! And may I just add, using the word “bandwidth” in a sentence that has nothing to do with the internet, riles me up as well. Thanks, I needed that.

  4. Marsha Says:

    My dear Carine~ this was too fun! It all resonated within me and I had a smile on my face from start to finish.

    “Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas (Was that guy born blind and raised by a white family wearing pointy hats?”

    I could never figure where the hell this guy was from! Thank you for telling me! I always just asummed that he was Dick Cheneys other heartless twin brother & they were separated at birth.

    Okey Dokey – it’s late & I’m off to bed… but as you noted, I’ll be up shortly… & again after that! ^.^

  5. beezersmom Says:

    (R + B)+ (C x $)= (I + D)$. Also, (R + B)$ = (I + D) + (C)$. It’s elementary, my dear Watson. These words make money for the 1% and therefore are permanently imbedded in our capitalistic system.

  6. rosemary Says:

    So far, the only thing that seems to ease insomnia and depression (anxiety) in my life is meditation/yoga and exercise. But then, I watch the news and it seems like I need to be in a perpetual trance and that doesn’t really work, ya know? I really chug the cal/mag liqid stuff too. I would love to add “poverty” to that list. It will never happen, especially now because of the fully entrenched 1%ers, but poverty is the root cause and result of racism and bureaucracy. And is there any question that the predominance of cancer in our society is a direct result of climate change, environmental issues and stress (you could add that word to the list, but it might just fall into the depression/insomnia categories)?? Great post, Carine. I couldn’t agree more.

  7. rosemary Says:

    Check out the Insight LA website and Dr. Dan Siegal’s website. On both sites there are great audio tape lectures and guided meditations. While I cannot wipe out racism, bureaucracy or cancer, there are some very real world tools to help with insomina and depression. xoxoxo

  8. christie Says:

    Rant on, Carine Fabulous Fabius, this is just what I needed.
    Thank you.

  9. vinny Says:

    wow..this article is just left wing bullshit spin. You attack corporations and Justice Clarence Thomas. I am not defending cancer or insomnia tho. lol

  10. alex Says:

    Horrible. Glad you could vent and really do nothing about it, except send this rant out in digitized format.

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