Gay Boyfriends, Gotta Love ‘Em

Filed Under All Posts, Cathy Fischer, Media, Pop Culture, Relationships | 20 Comments

Tommy Tune and Twiggy in The Boy Friend. Photo courtesy of NYPL.org

Cathy Fischer wraps up this month’s friendship theme with an ode to the gay boyfriend

There’s no one like a gay boyfriend to tell you, you look divine (and he probably would use that word). Only a gay boyfriend could appreciate your shoes and hairstyle as much as your most stylish girlfriends do, and there’s no one like a gay boyfriend to behave perfectly on a date, to scope out the cute boys with you and for you, when not competing with you, of course.

I’ve had gay boyfriends as long as I could remember, having always been involved in dance and play production…you know, the arts. When I was a freshman in college, I was a bit naïve. I often had crushes on the gay boys. Practically the entire cast of Guys and Dolls, were boys’ boys. You know, the pretty ones, the ones with the wicked sense of humor, the great sense of style? It took me a little while to catch on, but once I did, I accepted my fate, and was transformed and transported to fag hag heaven. Read more

Could Gray Hair Be My Silver Lining?

Filed Under All Posts, Beauty, Cathy Fischer, Reinvention, Style | 29 Comments

Cathy Fischer’s third and final installment of her “hair trilogy”

I thought of writing about a topic other than my hair, but my dear friend and chemo companion Wendy (who accompanied me to all four treatments, where we’d yak for a few hours, leaf through magazines, then go out for a fabulous lunch) insisted that I update those who are anxiously waiting to know if I’ve gone gray or returned to being a slave to color.

First, a quick recap/update:

In January, I posted “Wigging Out” which chronicled my going from hirsute to hairless, in just three days. It started when my hair began falling out after my first chemo treatment for breast cancer. I shaved my head, preemptively, to avoid the horror-induced depression of finding clumps of hair on my pillow or even worse, having a head resembling the cruelest of all male baldness patterns—the Franciscan monk look.

In hindsight, the quote about the “joy” of being hairless was true. It was a relief not having to shave or pluck, cut or color, for a few months. I’m pretty sure that most of the money I saved on hair maintenance went directly to shoe purchases. “Do what makes you feel good” was my motto, which often manifested itself in the form of new shoes, dry vodka martinis or extra crispy french fries. Read more

Sound Check

Filed Under All Posts, Cathy Fischer, Technology | 11 Comments

Cathy Fischer listens in on the sounds of yesterday and today.

The other day as I was driving down the street in North Berkeley, my reverie was interrupted by the all too familiar sound of a car alarm. As I got closer, I realized that the sound was coming from a classic yellow school bus. Honk, honk, honk… it repeated over and over again without breath or pause. Why, I wondered, did this particular alarm strike me as odd?

Okay, I sound a bit like Granny here, but stay with me. When I was young and rode the school bus, there was no such thing as a car alarm. The incessant alarm coming from that bus made me stop and wonder, what other modern noises have become a part of our surroundings? From the phone click of call-waiting to the bleeps of Tivoing through commercials, new conveniences have brought about new sounds. Read more

Gray Matters

Filed Under All Posts, Beauty, Cathy Fischer | 28 Comments

For Cathy Fischer, being post-chemotherapy is great, but soon she’ll need to make a choice about how she looks and how she might be perceived.

By now you probably know about Susan Boyle, the middle-aged television show contestant whose awkward and dowdy presence had the judges and studio audience of Britain’s Got Talent ready to laugh her off the stage. But when Susan Boyle began to sing, her matronly gray hair and bushy eyebrows disappeared and her enormous talent smacked everyone upside the head.

Like millions who’ve watched the video, I laughed, cried and cheered for the underdog. This real-life morality tale has people examining their own looksist and ageist stereotypes.

Now that I’m finished with chemotherapy, my hair is growing back—on my head, eyelashes, brows—and other places, I’m afraid. (Dang those mother pluckers!) My formerly bald pate is covered with hair soft as duck down, dark with smatterings of silver at the temples and marbled throughout. The Jane Fonda Klute wig I’ve been wearing will soon be a relic, so here I stand at the crossroads: go gray or say nay? Read more

Nice Girls Finish Last

Filed Under All Posts, Cathy Fischer, Courage, Rants | 13 Comments

Top Chef finalists Stephan, Carla and Hosea

When will women stop being such people pleasers?

Case in point: “Goody Two Shoes” is an expression reserved for females. It conjures up images of a child, a dimpled Shirley Temple-type, in a starched white dress, bobby socks and Mary Janes. “No more Mister Nice Guy,” on the other hand, is reserved for men. Picture a driven, successful executive. Mad Men’s Don Draper comes to mind.

After watching the finale of Top Chef, I was peeved. The three remaining finalists, two men and one woman, were asked to cook a $100k-winning meal. I was enthusiastic about Carla Hall, a 44-year-old woman with her own catering business, a great sense of humor and a big heart; an underdog who eventually found her stride and became a real contender.

Carla has personality as big as her hair. She cooks with love, and is proud to say so, plus she has classic French training and southern roots to boot. But Carla did not win. Why? Because, like so many women, Carla is just too nice!  Read more

5 Reasons to Love White House-dot-Gov

Filed Under All Posts, Cathy Fischer, Politics, Technology | 7 Comments

My day job as a web content producer makes it natural, almost compulsory, for me to critique the new White House website.  While the site is not perfect, it’s a major improvement from its earlier incarnation which screamed bad design, stodginess and a “we could care less” attitude.

President Obama has been experiencing some rough speed bumps lately and pundits are saying the honeymoon is over, but not for me. Here are five reasons why I’m feelin’ the luv at White House-dot-Gov.

1)  Not just pixels, but people

The www.whitehouse.gov site launched on inauguration day; how did they pull it together so quickly? The stark contrast of “before and after” reminds me of the difference between McCain not using email and Obama holding on to his Blackberry for dear life.

The voice and intention behind the website is clear. A letter from the Director of New Media, Macon Phillips, lays it all out, “The White House’s new website…will serve as a place for the President and his administration to connect with the rest of the nation and the world.” Read more

Winds of Change

Filed Under All Posts, Cathy Fischer, Environment, Group Posts | 5 Comments

When we decided to write about change, I didn’t realize how omnipresent it was. It’s everywhere. Change pricks up my ears and engages my senses.

The artist Andy Goldsworthy comes to mind. I recently re-watched his documentary Rivers and Tides to inspire my chemo flow visualizations. His creations are often ephemeral; captured in time, mostly by photographs or film. His work consists of painstaking ice sculptures that melt away; bursts of colored rock powders that disappear into thin air; leaves held together by fragile twigs which flow down a river, shaped by the rocks, shaped by the river, shaped by the rain.

The weather is warm in California. It’s February and the trees are confused. Magnolias are blooming and my pedicure is seeing the light of day. Biologists document the disappearance of a butterfly in the Bay Area.

I’m seeing change in my urban life as well. Read more

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