It Could Happen To You
Filed Under All Posts, Health, Prudence Baird | 15 Comments
Falling by Tom Bagshaw
Like a sign post that screams Watch Out!, Prudence zooms in on one of midlife’s challenges.
Falling. It happens to the best of us. One minute you are putting one foot in front of the other, and the next you’re on your ass. Or your face—with absolutely no idea how you got there so fast.
When young, falling is funny; slapstick even. Occasionally falling is painful, but having friends sign your cast or getting out of P.E. makes it all worthwhile. In fact, there’s a notorious t-shirt that mocks falling:
“I don’t have a drinking problem. I drink. I get drunk. I fall down. No problem.”
Ha-ha. Try that at age 54.
This brings me to the other morning when I heard a crashing and thrashing sound coming from the bathroom. Read more
The Evolution of Beauty
Filed Under All Posts, Beauty, Prudence Baird | 14 Comments
Prudence Baird shares an eye-opening video and her thoughts on beauty and aging.
How would your life have been different if you had seen this time-lapse video on the cusp of your own womanhood?
What if, as a young girl of 13 or 14, you had witnessed the impossibility of being that perfect face on the billboard? Would you still have lain in the sun to get that Bain de Soleil tan? Or, turned your legs (and Mom’s white sheets) orange with “QT” (aka Quick Tan)? Or stripped your hair with the spray-on Sun In, trying to look like those Nordic blondes in the commercials?
Would you have starved yourself to look like Twiggy or stretched your Dippity-Do gelled hair over soup cans to have Cheryl Tiegs’ smooth, waspy locks?
Me, I don’t think I’d have done anything different…I think I still would have broiled in the sun and sacrificed my personal development in order to please friends and boyfriends. I hope that I wouldn’t have, but as the philosopher Ouspensky said, “If it could have happened any other way, it would have.”
And, after all, what would be the point of being young if you listen to your parents’ wisdom and learn from their mistakes?
(If you are viewing this post in your mailbox, you must click on the title to get to the Fifty is the New website and view the video.)
Papa’s Got a Brand New Bag
Filed Under All Posts, Family, Humor, Prudence Baird | 10 Comments
After 15 years of marriage, and too many misplaced items to count, Prudence Baird insists her husband consider a new approach.
When I say I married a loser, I don’t mean that kind of loser. I’m talking about the kind of loser who loses things. Like keys, hats, sunglasses, cell phones, parking lot tickets, wedding rings—and most of all, wallets.
Like the clueless wife who finds that her husband has a gambling problem only after the repo man takes away the family Volvo, I found out that (let’s call him “Tim”) was a misplacer (nicer word, huh?) after we married. The first time it happened, I had no idea that this was merely Point A in an ever-lengthening trajectory that would arc across the time grid of our marriage.
I was in my home office churning out press releases when I heard the front door slam and heavy, frantic steps on the staircase. I emerged to see a man I didn’t recognize—a red-faced man, his salt-and-pepper askew; a man who hollered in my face: “My wallet is gone!” Read more
My Lovely Bones
Filed Under All Posts, Politics, Prudence Baird | 21 Comments
A doctor’s prognosis brings Prudence Baird face to face with her “inner old lady.”
I love my town. What’s not to love about a place where the local doctor goes by his first name (Dr. Walter) and hand-writes notes to his patients?
Recently, one of Dr. Walter’s letters arrived in the mail. I recognized the familiar scrawly handwriting that could only belong to a doctor.
“What’s in the letter from Dr. Walter?” asked my husband.
“I have no idea.”
“Shall I open it?” he asked, ripping open the envelope. “Oh,” he paused. “You have osteoporosis.”
Surely my husband wasn’t talking to me?
I quickly looked around for Sally Field.
Moi, osteoporosis? A flying nun’s disease? An old lady’s disease? How could this be? Read more
The World According to Prudence
Filed Under All Posts, Prudence Baird, Rants | 20 Comments
NASCAR is not a sport, Ann Coulter is not a woman, 98 percent of people who drink diet sodas are fat and there is no such thing as a healthy tan.
People who say, “To tell the truth…” are about to lie. Ditto for people who begin with “Truthfully,…” and “To be honest,….”
When an armed, confrontational policeman can enter your home without a search warrant, handcuff and arrest you for freaking out that he’s even there to begin with, our nation is already suffering from a more insidious form of government than the threat of a government willing to offer each and every American universal healthcare. Read more
Friend Request
Filed Under All Posts, Group Posts, Prudence Baird, Relationships, Technology | 21 Comments
Prudence Baird reflects on midlife connections in the age of social media.
I know why baby boomers are joining Facebook faster than Bernie Madoff’s victims are moving in with their adult children.
We’re not done yet. We’re not done dominating popular culture as defined by our presence in the media, including the “social media” like Facebook and MySpace.
We’re not done with—even though we’ve long exceeded—our 15 minutes of fame. Each. We’re not done prancing in the spotlight—even if for some of us, it’s our first time. Read more
Is it Too Late Not to Have Kids?
Filed Under All Posts, Parenting, Prudence Baird | 10 Comments
For Prudence Baird, shopping for camping gear with her teenage son makes climbing mountains child’s play.
Ah, teenagers. You gotta love ‘em. Or not.
Just at the time your peers who had the smarts to drop their litters in their twenties or early thirties—or perhaps the smartest ones who decided not to have kids at all—are decorating a second home in the Hamptons or having their teeth capped and eyelids “done,” you are hauling an ungrateful hunk of hormones to R.E.I. to buy a backpack for his school’s mandatory weeklong trek in the Green Mountains; an outing designed to build esprit-de-corps.
A typical exchange begins subtly. “I don’t see why I have to go.”
Like a symphony, it builds, “What’s the point of going camping?” and “Why did you make me go to this school?”
Here comes the bridge: “Why did you force us to leave Los Angeles?” Read more
