A Baby Named Jesus
Filed Under All Posts, Health, Politics, Prudence Baird | 26 Comments
Prudence’s personal story provides a morality tale for America today
This is a story about a baby I call Jesus. No, not that Jesus—the other one, pronounced “Hey, Zeus.”
I admit this may not be his name and he may not be a he; I don’t know. All I know is that somewhere out there in the world is a teenager I call Jesus and his birth certificate is almost identical to my son’s. And what better time to have a Jesus story than now—on the eve of the holiday season that culminates with the birthday celebration of a man so many Americans claim to know personally, the other Jesus, Jesus Christ.
Jesus (the Hey Zeus one) was born April 6, 1995, at Good Samaritan Hospital in Los Angeles—the same hospital, the same day, the same hour as my second and last child, Casey. The reason I know about Jesus is that my labor and delivery nurse helped bring him into this world. Read more
A Stinky Epiphany
Filed Under All Posts, Carine Fabius, Health | 9 Comments
With her own type of “smell-o-vision”, Carine’s nose triggers lessons to be learned
I recently had an epiphany. It goes like this:
If you smell shit everywhere you go, you’re the one who smells like shit.
Sound harsh? It is the conclusion I came to after walking around for a few hours the other day, saying to my husband, “Something smells like shit in the house.” I checked the cat’s litter box, even though I had just cleaned it out. I looked all over to see if the dog had had an accident but found nothing. I opened the trashcan, hoping to find something rotten and offensive but came up empty. I then left to run an errand, and while I was in the car, thought I caught a whiff of something shitty but it went away, so I thought I imagined it. But the minute I got home, there it was again. My husband’s nasal passages are a lot like his hearing—they either work selectively or not much; I’m usually the one who smells potential gas leaks and such, so he was no help.
Later that evening, we went out to the hot tub in our backyard, and I smelled it again, so I looked around for dog poop but couldn’t find any. It was finally when I went into the bathroom to put on a robe after our soak that I noticed a brown stain on the rug. My genius side kicked in and I turned my shoe over to find a huge, caked up mess of dog shit that I must have stepped in the last time I wore those shoes, and somehow never noticed it. So much for my extra-sensory nasal passages, I thought to myself. And that’s when I had my second epiphany: Read more
What the Funk?
Filed Under All Posts, Cathy Fischer, Health | 24 Comments
With a nod to P-Funk, Cathy tries to free her mind, so her ass will follow
I have always been a glass half-full kind of person. Now, firmly in my middle years, I’ve come to understand that life has its ups and downs and that staying the course eventually lands you just where you need to be. But lately, for almost three months now, I’ve been in a funk.
Why can’t I just stick my head in the sand like an ostrich, and shut out all sound and light? I can’t possibly do that when Tea Party extremists are shouting so loud. When cholera is killing earthquake survivors in Haiti (can they ever get a break?) When the number of women in government has reverted back a generation and poor Mr. Obama has to deal directly with folk who are, frankly, off their rockers. And while I too, am off my center—just when I start to regain my balance something throws me, and the downward spiral begins again.
Research has proven that people who practice gratitude regularly are typically happier and healthier. Believe me, I have so much to be grateful for. My octogenarian parents are still together and in good health, I have a job (even one that people envy), I have smart, interesting and loving friends and a warm extended family. I live in a beautiful place with nature in my backyard and one of the finest cities anywhere just across the bay. (Go Giants!) I’ve got access to world class culture, fresh healthy food and abundance—more than one can ever need. Read more
Who the Hell is Eric and Why is He Protecting Me?
Filed Under All Posts, Health, Miscellaneous, Prudence Baird | 14 Comments
When Prudence’s life is saved, she wonders, is it merely coincidence or celestial interference?
I am alive today because Eric, a man I never met, saved my life last month.
No, I am not filtering bodily fluids with Eric’s kidneys; nor pumping blood with Eric’s heart. Heaven forbid Eric should have donated any of his organs! After all, he died of AIDS 30 years ago.
But, according to Catherine, my son’s art teacher, Eric’s fingerprints are all over the recent life-saving business—although some may claim a mouse who nobly sacrificed itself, or that a journalist at the Brattleboro Reformer deserve just as much credit.
Perhaps. So, let’s give credit to Eric, the mouse AND the reporter. And my husband. And anyone else who wants to get in on the credit crawl. After all, once you’ve wriggled free from Death’s icy clutches, you feel a little generous.
Let me backtrack. Read more
Catnap 101
Filed Under All Posts, Cathy Fischer, Health | 17 Comments
Gustave Courbet, The Hammock, 1844
Cathy beholds the benefits of the siesta and the true meaning of beauty rest
I was talking with my BF Leslie—an acupuncturist by trade and a healer by nature—when she told me how in her practice she finds that midlife women don’t allow themselves enough time to de-stress, decompress, pamper, or just relax. She also pointed out that this non-stop lifestyle eventually leads to all kinds of disease.
Hmmm. Women doing too much? Imagine that. It is my experience that this overdoing syndrome is passed down from generation to generation (martyr much?) So what to do about it? How do we recharge and reboot without it taking too much time or costing too much money?
One word: CATNAP! Yes, I believe that just might be the cure to what ails us.
According to an article in The Boston Globe aptly titled “The Lifesaving Potential of an Afternoon Nap,” a study published in the Archives of Internal Medicine concluded that “napping was more likely than diet, physical activity or [not] smoking to lower the incidence of heart attacks and other life-ending heart ailments.” A 20-minute nap or brief non-REM sleep (no more than 45 minutes) enhances concentration, alertness and memory, elevates mood and can sharpen motor skills.
Beauty rest is not just the name of a mattress and napping is not just for vacations or cranky children. Read more
So I Think I Can Dance (and you can too)
Filed Under All Posts, Connie Stetson, Health, Media, Pop Culture | 11 Comments
Flash Mob Victoria Station
Connie Stetson mixes it up with inspiration, perspiration and dizzy dancing feet.
Dear readers, we have become so close now, I feel I can tell you anything. I know you won’t judge me harshly when I confess to you how very much I love the “reality” game show. The contestants, the competition, the prize—the whole format, well, it’s all just so darn much fun.
I love Survivor, The Amazing Race, American Idol, The Bachelorette, Top Chef, Project Runway and even the great American cheese-fest, Dancing With the Stars. But by far and away, I love So You Think You Can Dance. Partly because at one time I did think could dance, and partly because I now wish I could dance as well as I once thought I could. Watching these beautiful, talented, athletic young dancers sends me into a pulse-pounding frenzy of vicarious joy; and I am with them every soaring step and heart stopping stumble along the way. I am hooked and I am also impressed.
In 2009, producer Nigel Lythgoe, actress Katie Holmes, dancer/choreographer Debbie Allen, and a host others, began The Dizzy Feet Foundation . Its mission is to support, improve and increase dance education in the United States, provide scholarships, set standards for dance education and insure that disadvantaged children have access to dance. The Dizzy Feet Foundation has also declared Saturday July 31st, National Dance Day. View the cool choreography that Napoleon and Tabitha have created to get America off our collective asses and onto the dance floor. They have made it easy enough for anyone to learn and I’m getting down right now with my very bad, very funky self. Read more
Scrambled Eggs
Filed Under All Posts, Family, Health, Prudence Baird | 12 Comments
Photo by Ana June
For Prudence Baird, dusty eggs, puppy love, and baby crack make a wicked brew with the potential for world peace
When our Irish twins*, born a mere 22 months apart, reached toddlerhood, my husband reports that I got that misty-eyed look that says, “I’ll trade you a month of blow jobs for another baby.” Able to see the writing on the wall (much of it in red ink), my intrepid partner did what most sensible men would do—he rushed out and got himself a vasectomy.
Even so, I hoped and wished for another child. With my breastfeeding years fast receding to the realm of “remember when” and sentimental boo-hoo sessions alone in my room, having a third child became my holy grail, my Turkish delight, my must-see TV.
I refused to pass along cherished baby clothes. I squirreled away cutsie bibs and blankies. Intuitively, I knew that as long as my ovaries were pumping out eggs, there was a chance—even if it meant reattaching my husband’s pipes myself using an emery board and tweezers. Read more
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