What Not to Wear

Filed Under All Posts, Connie Stetson, Humor, Media, Pop Culture, Style | 13 Comments

I was standing in the grocery store line the other day perusing magazine headlines: “Madonna Gives Birth to Satan’s Love Child,” “Brad and Angelina Adopt Cat,” “Bulimic Brittany Barfs Barrels—Spagos Diners Disgusted,” when something so mind-boggling, so shocking caught my eye, I gasped.  Glamour magazine’s cover page, in all its glossy glory headlined, “What to Wear at 20, 30, 40, to be Your Sexy Best.”  I was aghast.  All I could think of was when did it happen?  When did I fall off the fashion radar?  What about MEEEEE?????

It hadn’t occurred to me that I would be facing this dilemma so soon.  I’m standing at the crossroads of Juicy Couture and Talbot’s.  I’m pretty clear that at my age wearing the word “JUICY” on my ass is just false advertising, but I’m also not ready for the muumuus and leisure wear that I see in the next department, and I sure as hell don’t want to look like a Republican, all coiffed and suited up so tight I squeak. Read more

Too Much (Trivial) Information

Filed Under All Posts, Media, Pop Culture, Prudence Baird, Rants | 8 Comments

“Valerie has lost 43 lbs!” screams the 36-point magenta headline.

Raise your hand if you’re sick of knowing anything about some has-been rock star’s equally has-been ex-wife, who is baring her teeth at you from a magazine that assaults the senses of all who stand in line to buy their groceries at the local supermarket.

Raise your hand if you’re sick of Rachel Ray’s gummy smile. Raise your hand if you’re made nauseous by Dr. Phil’s pallid, paunchy face and bald pate. Raise your hand if you abhor Britney Spear’s pierced belly button, Mary-Kate and Ashley’s ghoulish eye make-up and any news of anyone’s rehab treatment, weight-loss or failed relationship, no matter how famous or infamous that person might be. Read more

Being Bea Arthur

Filed Under All Posts, Connie Stetson, Humor, Media, Pop Culture | 6 Comments

I complained to my friend Cathy, not so very long ago, that menopause was making my voice sound like Bea Arthur (if you’re around my age you’ll remember Maude); and she said soothingly, “Ohh, sweetie, you don’t sound like Bea Arthur, you sound like Harvey Fierstein.” It’s the same thing. I had hoped that as I aged I’d purr like Lauren Bacall, but no… I rasp like a drag queen. Like Bea Arthur.

Now I do have to admit that I never emitted tones anyone ever called dulcet. More Ethel Merman than Ethel Barrymore, more gym teacher than yoga instructor. Read more

Older Models In Demand

Filed Under All Posts, Carine Fabius, Media, Pop Culture, Style | 6 Comments

The Los Angeles Times recently published an article about a new trend in the fashion world: a booming demand for older models—meaning 35 and older—for magazine spreads, and advertisers looking to reel in the aging boomer population. That’s us, folks.

The market for these older fashion goddesses is so hot that a former supermodel just endowed with a graduate degree in psychology decided to put off practicing psychotherapy in favor of the ever-so-fulfilling art of auditioning. Talk about going backwards. But, that’s just me being judgmental. The money’s probably a lot better, if you can get it. Plus, I think it’s a fine idea. “After all,” the author of the piece says, “what middle-aged woman wants to buy moisturizer from a model who’s too young to order a martini?” Indeed. Read more