My Lovely Bones

Filed Under All Posts, Politics, Prudence Baird | 22 Comments

A doctor’s prognosis brings Prudence Baird face to face with her “inner old lady.”

I love my town. What’s not to love about a place where the local doctor goes by his first name (Dr. Walter) and hand-writes notes to his patients?

Recently, one of Dr. Walter’s letters arrived in the mail. I recognized the familiar scrawly handwriting that could only belong to a doctor.

“What’s in the letter from Dr. Walter?” asked my husband.

“I have no idea.”

“Shall I open it?” he asked, ripping open the envelope. “Oh,” he paused. “You have osteoporosis.”

Surely my husband wasn’t talking to me?

I quickly looked around for Sally Field.

Moi, osteoporosis? A flying nun’s disease? An old lady’s disease? How could this be? Read more

The Lovely Mrs. Stetson

Filed Under All Posts, Connie Stetson, Politics, Relationships | 14 Comments

She nods, she smiles, and you really think she’s listening. Meet Connie Stetson, celebrity wife.

Towards the end of September, my husband Lee and I are off to New York City to celebrate his participation as John Muir in Ken Burns’ new documentary series on PBS, The National Parks: America’s Best Idea. We are thrilled of course, to hobnob in the Big Apple with celebs, attend galas and attend as honorees, a huge concert in Central Park to kick off this amazing documentary. I simply cannot wait to get all dressed up, wear pretty shoes, put some makeup on my puss and transform myself into “the lovely Mrs. Stetson.”

My single most important function of this task, (that I’ve now performed hundreds of times) it seems, is to stand near my actor husband, smile, nod, beam, shake hands and occasionally mutter niceties like, “Yes, how interesting” or “Lovely evening, isn’t it?” For all occasions I’ve learned that the phrases, “How about that?” and “Isn’t that something”, can be inserted anywhere—even when you are concertedly not listening. Read more

My Exploding Head

Filed Under All Posts, Carine Fabius, Health, Politics, Rants | 17 Comments

Carine Fabius is experiencing strange symptoms—her blood is boiling and her poor head…

Last month a photo in the Los Angeles Times showed a bunch of North Carolina protesters lying in wait for Obama as he headed to a town hall meeting on healthcare. Their handwritten signs shouted the following inanities:

“Free Market not Free Loaders”
“Obama-Care is Not For Us”
“No to Socialism”
“Government is Not the Solution to our Problems”

No wonder my head wants to explode. Read more

WTF California?

Filed Under All Posts, Melissa Howden, Politics, Relationships | 17 Comments

I’m getting gayer by the moment.

I’m guessing my burgeoning gayness is in part my indignant response to those intent upon denying me and my tribe, our equal rights in this country. The rights to marry, to adopt, to care for our loved ones, to have the benefits of insurance, inheritance and whatever else all ya’ll get as standard operating procedure.

It’s a strange time this. On the one hand being gay is like a newly desired accessory tantamount to seasonal fashions—the color, a hemline or a purse (Ellen DeGeneres is a CoverGirl after all). One newly “out” celebrity is proclaiming to any media outlet that will listen that she has always been out, which, I happen to know, is absolutely not the truth and who really cares anyway? So while some are scrambling to proclaim their gayness and claim their seat as the new gay poster child, the California Supreme Court upheld Proposition 8, which denies gays the right to marry in the state. Well that is not exactly true either. The 18,000 gay couples who were legally allowed to marry by the same Supreme Court last year in the window of time before the Mormon Church essentially paid for the Proposition to deny that right, those couples can be married. Are you following? I did say it was a strange time. Read more

Booming Egos

Filed Under All Posts, Carine Fabius, Media, Pop Culture, Politics | 10 Comments

Carine Fabius reflects on boomers, overinflated egos and signs of the times.

In what might have been George Carlin’s last stand-up gig, he aimed his razor-sharp verbal AK-47 on baby boomers, and I’m still trying to recover from all those small, bleeding slits he left on my body. Okay, so he came off just a teeny bit angry, as in The Angriest Dog in the World; but boy, did he hit the bull’s eye on our generation’s outsized egos.

Just the other night, I, the one who turned off the TV set at age 15, happened onto an Anderson Cooper special that made me remember why I hit the power button and chucked the boob tube all those years ago (no offense to all the TV lovers out there; I’m sure there’s a ton of great stuff I’ve missed out on). In this perfect demonstration of 24-hour cable presenting crap and calling it something else, like “Special,” financial guru Suze Orman was interviewed, and here’s what she said about herself: “I am the personal financial expert to the world!”

In a choreographed moment, my husband, my brother-in-law and I turned toward one other, raised our eyebrows and smiled in shock. But there was more to come. She then said, “There is nothing I don’t know about money!” The woman interviewing her did not say, “Don’t you feel ridiculous making such silly statements?” No. Although she couldn’t hide her disbelief, she smiled, and said NOTHING. That in itself deserves analysis, but that’s for another day. Read more

Bird Books and Other Wonders

Filed Under All Posts, Beauty, Melissa Howden, Politics | 10 Comments

Melissa Howden believes in the power and danger, the wonder and necessity of art.

Last week, my friend Stefanie sent me a link to the image above, entitled The Language of Birds. The image of a site-specific installation across from the famous City Lights bookstore in North Beach, San Francisco made me gasp out loud in wonder. The “birds” are books in flight. Below them on the street are phrases embedded in the walk from over 90 authors, as if their words have fallen out of the books. The piece, by artists Brian Goggin and Dorka Keen, was commissioned by the San Francisco Arts Commission.

Seeing the “bird books” ignited delight and made me thrill at the prospect of a pilgrimage to the site when next I am in the area. The fact that such a piece exists at all, and was commissioned by a public agency for the benefit of all, is also incredibly heartening.

Thanks to my mother who began taking us to live theatre at a very early age (she always got seats in the last row so that we could stand up in the seats to see and not disturb others) I grew up with an appreciation for art as something as vital and necessary as the air I breathe. Art that is successful, no matter its form, has the affect of rearranging my cells, creating a sense of expansion and challenging my beliefs. Read more

One More Thing

Filed Under All Posts, Carine Fabius, Politics | 4 Comments

I think Obama’s not busy enough.

Really, choosing which dog will make his kids and the entire nation happy; whether Michelle should plant arugula or potatoes on the south lawn of the White House; and while he’s at it, trying to convince Michelle that she really doesn’t need any more shoes (I actually read this in the New York Times. He’s really like any other husband, girls.)

There’s still one very serious issue he needs to add to his plate right now: the ongoing rape of female soldiers in the military. You thought I was going to suggest something silly, right? It’s just that it feels so idiotic to suggest the president take on one more issue when he’s already being accused, by some, of heaping too much on his plate. But, even though I feel like writing are you crazy? letters to any interest group that rears its head with a special issue that should not be forgotten, I figure I may as well throw this one at him, too. Kind of like throwing multiple strings of linguine ideas at a wall just to see what sticks! Read more

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