Enough with the Platitudinous Drivel

Filed Under All Posts, Parenting, Prudence Baird, Rants | 20 Comments

Triggered by her son’s question, Prudence unleashes a rant for our times

“Mom, is it true things happen for a reason?” Casey’s green eyes fringed by impossibly curly brown lashes widened with anticipation at the possible confirmation that some benevolent force is at work that can explain why bad things happen to good people.

“Who the fuck said that?” I snapped. Okay, I didn’t really say fuck, but I wanted to.

This pithy, saccharine saw lodges in my ears like the stinking turd of stupidspeak that it is. And whenever someone says it, whether the person is my friend or not, I cannot suppress my outrage that anyone dare to explain away the immoral, indecent, unfair and—in many cases—avoidable crap that rains down on perfectly lovely people and takes their lives, their health, their finances and even their children in directions that should only be reserved for those whose full names end in Cheney, Bush, Wolfowitz or Rove. Read more

Missed Manners

Filed Under All Posts, Cathy Fischer, Politics, Rants | 15 Comments

Super hero comic by Jessica McLeod

For Cathy Fischer, rudeness rears its ugly head and in some of the most unlikely places

Have you noticed lately that rude behavior has reached epic proportions? While Dear Abby and Miss Manners may have upped their game (they’re online after all), rudeness is still rampant. In twenty-first century America, hectic lifestyles, fractured families and ever-present technologies have enabled abundant opportunity for unconscious behavior, and frankly, I’m sick of it!

Case in point: The other day I was coming home from a lovely walk. Tra la la, it’s spring and I am in a good mood! As I approach my building, I see “him”—let’s call him Nathan (because, that’s his name). Nathan is a skinny, pasty, nerdy guy, around 40-ish. His social skills are lacking. That doesn’t bother me, what does is that Nathan has BAD MANNERS, as illustrated by his next move. He steps up the pace and makes a beeline for the front door. I know he’s seen me, but he doesn’t acknowledge that, and he most certainly does not hold open the door; and then, like a mangy little squirrel, he scampers to the elevator, jumps in the moment it arrives, and makes sure the doors close before I can possibly stop him. His strategy works, and I am left in the dust of his scampering nerdiness. I am aghast!

Yo Nate! Did your mother raise you that way?
Read more

My Exploding Head

Filed Under All Posts, Carine Fabius, Health, Politics, Rants | 17 Comments

Carine Fabius is experiencing strange symptoms—her blood is boiling and her poor head…

Last month a photo in the Los Angeles Times showed a bunch of North Carolina protesters lying in wait for Obama as he headed to a town hall meeting on healthcare. Their handwritten signs shouted the following inanities:

“Free Market not Free Loaders”
“Obama-Care is Not For Us”
“No to Socialism”
“Government is Not the Solution to our Problems”

No wonder my head wants to explode. Read more

The World According to Prudence

Filed Under All Posts, Prudence Baird, Rants | 20 Comments

NASCAR is not a sport, Ann Coulter is not a woman, 98 percent of people who drink diet sodas are fat and there is no such thing as a healthy tan.

People who say, “To tell the truth…” are about to lie. Ditto for people who begin with “Truthfully,…” and “To be honest,….”

When an armed, confrontational policeman can enter your home without a search warrant, handcuff and arrest you for freaking out that he’s even there to begin with, our nation is already suffering from a more insidious form of government than the threat of a government willing to offer each and every American universal healthcare. Read more

Nice Girls Finish Last

Filed Under All Posts, Cathy Fischer, Courage, Rants | 13 Comments

Top Chef finalists Stephan, Carla and Hosea

When will women stop being such people pleasers?

Case in point: “Goody Two Shoes” is an expression reserved for females. It conjures up images of a child, a dimpled Shirley Temple-type, in a starched white dress, bobby socks and Mary Janes. “No more Mister Nice Guy,” on the other hand, is reserved for men. Picture a driven, successful executive. Mad Men’s Don Draper comes to mind.

After watching the finale of Top Chef, I was peeved. The three remaining finalists, two men and one woman, were asked to cook a $100k-winning meal. I was enthusiastic about Carla Hall, a 44-year-old woman with her own catering business, a great sense of humor and a big heart; an underdog who eventually found her stride and became a real contender.

Carla has personality as big as her hair. She cooks with love, and is proud to say so, plus she has classic French training and southern roots to boot. But Carla did not win. Why? Because, like so many women, Carla is just too nice!  Read more

Change? Yes, Please.

Filed Under All Posts, Carine Fabius, Group Posts, Rants | 9 Comments

Yes, thank you.  I would like some change.

I’d like to get some change back for all over payments to banks—aka credit card companies—that have for decades used the flimsiest excuses to raise seductive introductory interest rates to loan shark levels that can never be repaid if you’re an average Jane.  Something tells me they’re about to get their comeuppance in much grander terms than mere coins…

I would also like some change from overpriced restaurants that do offer the pleasure of a night out without having to wash dishes, but can in no way justify charging $15.00 for a hamburger plus $6.50 for valet parking.  Trust me, I don’t often patronize these joints, but when you live in Los Angeles, it’s a safe bet you’ll end up in one without realizing how you got there.  And while I’m on the subject, Read more

Quit Saying That!!!

Filed Under All Posts, Connie Stetson, Rants | 11 Comments

Why, oh why, do we throw the word “pussy” around like that’s an undesirable thing? Most of the men I know chased pussy before they even knew what they were going to do with it, even if they caught up to it.

I just saw the very good, Gran Torino, another great American film directed by Clint Eastwood, that tells a story of the awakening of the human heart, of friendship and sacrifice. Why, I cried like a little girl. The next time I see it, I’m gonna man up, blow my nose, and count the number of times Walter (Eastwood) calls Toa a “pussy.” Could we please just quit saying that!!!?

I just read a story in our local paper, The Fresno Bee, about Emily Cox, the current Miss Kentucky winning the Evelyn Ay Sempier Quality of Life Award for promoting a workshop called “Uniquely Me—Promoting Self-Esteem in Adolescent Girls.” Good on her. A much needed platform to be sure, and how ironic that the message comes out of a beauty contest, one of the most backward, silly, irrelevant, girl-fights embraced by our culture. Yeah, yeah, I know—it’s all about the scholarships.   Read more

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