Walking and Talking

Filed Under All Posts, Christie Healey, Politics, Relationships | 8 Comments

From Christie Healey’s perspective, going on foot could be just the cure for what ails us.

Its Saturday morning and the winter is coming to an end. Although here on the tundra we are wary of any irrational exuberance until May. The phone rang and I heard Heidi’s voice say, “Want to go for a walk?” I cannot think of anything I would rather do at this moment than join her and her beautiful sad-eyed dog Sara on a stroll around the Lake Como in the crystal sunshine.

My mum and dad would take a walk every Sunday afternoon. They talked quietly while my sister and I wandered along with them, playing make-believe games and seeing who could run the fastest. In the past few years I have become a walker again. There is singular joy in strolling along talking to my companions or, when I am alone, talking to myself. It seems as if walking frees the tongue and the mind. Difficult topics can be broached more easily; old hurts can be mended, secrets may be revealed, sadness might suddenly find release, and laughter often comes unexpectedly. Read more

Only When I Laugh

Filed Under All Posts, Christie Healey, Family, Parenting, Relationships | 7 Comments

For Christie Healey, time spent with relatives is just the ticket.

Many of us have recently spent time with our families over the holidays. Family has taken on a very broad meaning and I am blessed with a wonderful family of choice. But, for now I want to reflect upon those persons in our family that we had no choice of selection. Time spent with the relatives can be revealing, precious, stressful, hilarious, and restorative.

My former father-in-law comes to mind when I think of some of the adjectives I used above. He is an extraordinary person, a man of great persistence in certain areas. He loved golf. No, I mean he really loved golf. Practiced for over 50 years with no noticeable signs of improvement. He would swing a club in the apartment we shared whenever the obsession took over. Chips out of the concrete beam in the living room bear witness to his fervour. After some pleas, he agreed to use the “air” practice swing. One evening he was found lying on the floor in the bedroom. “What happened?” we cried. “I was going for distance,” he responded. Read more

It’s 5:00 PM. Do You Know Where Your Vodka Is?

Filed Under All Posts, Connie Stetson, Relationships | 8 Comments

Keeping up with your girlfriends can be a challenge. Connie Stetson offers up a solution that is shaken, stirred and intoxicating.

“It’s 5:00 PM. Do you know where your vodka is?” Okay, I actually stole that line from my pal, Barbara. It was just too funny not to use and she’s a funny girl, especially around cocktail hour. I’m not sure exactly how much vodka she and I have consumed over the last 20 years, but certainly enough to be awarded Russian citizenship with full honors. “Nostrovya,” ya’ll!

When I moved up here to Yosemite 23 years ago, I fretted as to how to keep my friendships in L.A. thriving. For a long time, I’d find any excuse possible to get back there. I needed a haircut, shoes, movies, the theater, the Apple Pan, or just the smell of good, salty ocean air, (which I still long for every day I’m in the woods.) But mostly, because I was so bloody homesick for everyone who knew me, and because I had not yet reinvented myself into the mountain bitch I am today.

I’m not sure anymore who’s idea it was to start the Monday Night Martini, but Barbara and I agreed that Monday was good, because nothing was on TV anyway, and who doesn’t need a cocktail on Mondays, yes? Read more

Before the Fall

Filed Under All Posts, Courage, Melissa Howden, Relationships | 8 Comments

The change of season has Melissa Howden working on her equilibrium.

We just hurtled into fall. The autumnal equinox has just taken place. But lest you think you’ve missed anything, know this; the actual equinox (etymology = equal & night) actually takes place several days after the event depending upon where you are, geographically speaking.

In my neck of the woods, we will experience equal amounts of day and night within a minute on the 25th and 26th of the month. What does any of this mean? Generally speaking it means that the Sun rises directly in the east and sets directly in the west. It is a turning point—literally—in the year, the seasons being determined by the tilt of the Earth on its axis. It is also the time when we enter into the astrological constellation of Libra, the sign of balance on the scales.

THIS is where metaphor is made manifest. I find this time especially meaningful if not extremely challenging. I’ve been off kilter, out of step, unsure of my center, off my game, call it what you will it has not been especially pretty.

Simply put, I. AM. OUT. OF. BALANCE! Read more

The Lovely Mrs. Stetson

Filed Under All Posts, Connie Stetson, Politics, Relationships | 14 Comments

She nods, she smiles, and you really think she’s listening. Meet Connie Stetson, celebrity wife.

Towards the end of September, my husband Lee and I are off to New York City to celebrate his participation as John Muir in Ken Burns’ new documentary series on PBS, The National Parks: America’s Best Idea. We are thrilled of course, to hobnob in the Big Apple with celebs, attend galas and attend as honorees, a huge concert in Central Park to kick off this amazing documentary. I simply cannot wait to get all dressed up, wear pretty shoes, put some makeup on my puss and transform myself into “the lovely Mrs. Stetson.”

My single most important function of this task, (that I’ve now performed hundreds of times) it seems, is to stand near my actor husband, smile, nod, beam, shake hands and occasionally mutter niceties like, “Yes, how interesting” or “Lovely evening, isn’t it?” For all occasions I’ve learned that the phrases, “How about that?” and “Isn’t that something”, can be inserted anywhere—even when you are concertedly not listening. Read more

Gay Boyfriends, Gotta Love ‘Em

Filed Under All Posts, Cathy Fischer, Media, Pop Culture, Relationships | 20 Comments

Tommy Tune and Twiggy in The Boy Friend. Photo courtesy of NYPL.org

Cathy Fischer wraps up this month’s friendship theme with an ode to the gay boyfriend

There’s no one like a gay boyfriend to tell you, you look divine (and he probably would use that word). Only a gay boyfriend could appreciate your shoes and hairstyle as much as your most stylish girlfriends do, and there’s no one like a gay boyfriend to behave perfectly on a date, to scope out the cute boys with you and for you, when not competing with you, of course.

I’ve had gay boyfriends as long as I could remember, having always been involved in dance and play production…you know, the arts. When I was a freshman in college, I was a bit naïve. I often had crushes on the gay boys. Practically the entire cast of Guys and Dolls, were boys’ boys. You know, the pretty ones, the ones with the wicked sense of humor, the great sense of style? It took me a little while to catch on, but once I did, I accepted my fate, and was transformed and transported to fag hag heaven. Read more

A Scary Proposition

Filed Under All Posts, Carine Fabius, Relationships | 11 Comments

The strange behavior of some so-called “close friends” has Carine Fabius rethinking the concept.

A very close friend of mine vanished out of my life without so much as a goodbye. That experience forever seared its mark into my “open to all newcomers” disposition. Another intimate of mine decided after 15 years that she no longer wanted to be friends, but she refused to tell me why. She tried the silent treatment, but I kept hounding her until she finally sent me a cryptic email that said, “Give me some time to sort it out.” That was in 2002. I stopped waiting a long time ago.

A woman I was friends with went through a difficult time, economically, and no matter how much I helped (by referring business contacts her way) it was never enough, and she never stopped reminding me of it. I walked away from her, but I let her know why. Read more

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