Belonging & Heartache
Filed Under All Posts, Melissa Howden, Relationships | 20 Comments
Melissa’s love story continues…
A few week’s ago, my dear friend Lu sent me the card above. She is one of the few people in my life who still sends actual mail and I love her for that. This particular card has been sitting on my desk as a daily reminder.
I suppose the card’s message is always an important one, but for me it is particularly timely and this is also an especially difficult blog post to write. For those of you who have been following us here, you may remember the essence of my post CHANGE: From the Files of “Be Careful What You Wish For” and “Never Say Never”— essentially a love letter to one with whom I had fallen in love. The same one I changed my life for, my “last great love”.
New love is so alluring, folded as it is into hope, delight and discovery. As a then 51-year-old, it also caught me completely by surprise. I am not an impetuous person, but in this case, in middle age, it seemed dangerous to waste time, and so we didn’t. But as with many great loves, the ending is not always happy, and I am sad to report here that we are no longer. I have not wanted to write this not only because it is sad, but also because I feel embarrassed that I put this love out in public and have seemingly failed so miserably. Also it’s hard to put something, anything, out there when I feel as I do that my guts are being ripped out. Read more
The Lovely Mrs. Stetson Rides Again
Filed Under All Posts, Politics, Relationships | 10 Comments
Follow the adventures of Connie Stetson, candidate’s wife, as she heads out on the campaign trail, once again…
Hi there. The lovely Mrs. Stetson here, and just returned from an event in one of our more charming off-the-beaten-path communities, El Portal. It was the annual Spring Fling in EP. A day of music, BBQ, beer, crafts, flea market, activists of all stripes, (GO No-Way Subway!!!), and the usual round-up of old friends, neighbors, conservationists, kids and dogs, and of course, the opportunity for a little campaigning, glad-handing, and baby kissing. Yes, dear readers, Lee is running for office again and I just can’t wait to dust off my pillbox hat and pearl button gloves.
A couple of weeks ago we had the dubious honor of attending the Republican Central Committee’s “Meet the Candidate Night” where we were regaled with each conservative candidate’s personal relationship with Jesus Christ. Why bother to call yourselves Republicans anymore? How about re-branding you as Christi-cans, or Republica-mentalists? It was fascinating, in a “can’t take your eyes off a train wreck” sort of way, to watch as each candidate for the Republican nomination for the 19th congressional seat vied for the title of the most conservative conservative, or the original conservative, or the most racist conservative, or the biggest sexual deviant freak conservative. Read more
Thoughts on Passion, Part 2
Filed Under All Posts, Carine Fabius, Relationships | 11 Comments
Back in May, Carine Fabius posted a blog on Fifty is the New.. called “Thoughts on Passion”, which was an excerpt from her book-in-progress on the subject. The book is still in progress. Here’s another excerpt.
Having sludged through the molten lava of passion and survived, I continue to wonder about the mysterious ways of this disease. It invades the psyches of singles, divorcés and women in long-term relationships, making them question the compromise of magnificent love and searing sex for the security, affection, friendship, sweet love and good sex that comes with the passage of time (men do this too, but that’s another book).
So, I decided to go on a journey of discovery about passion. To probe our yearning to make peace with its fading, while insisting it stay as if it was our birthright. To discover why we hold onto the notion that an illusion might somehow take root, sprout leaves, and become a solid tree that keeps on blooming.
To get to the bottom of all this nonsense, I thought I should go to the source! No, not that strange and mysterious Creative Force, which seems to have hard-wired us to seek the unattainable. I mean all those smart women out there, who keep dissolving into pliable liquid wax once the heat of passion comes a callin’. I figured if I asked enough of them the same questions, I, and by extension, we, might come to a place of knowledge and understanding about that big WHY? Read more
Walking and Talking
Filed Under All Posts, Christie Healey, Politics, Relationships | 8 Comments
From Christie Healey’s perspective, going on foot could be just the cure for what ails us.
Its Saturday morning and the winter is coming to an end. Although here on the tundra we are wary of any irrational exuberance until May. The phone rang and I heard Heidi’s voice say, “Want to go for a walk?” I cannot think of anything I would rather do at this moment than join her and her beautiful sad-eyed dog Sara on a stroll around the Lake Como in the crystal sunshine.
My mum and dad would take a walk every Sunday afternoon. They talked quietly while my sister and I wandered along with them, playing make-believe games and seeing who could run the fastest. In the past few years I have become a walker again. There is singular joy in strolling along talking to my companions or, when I am alone, talking to myself. It seems as if walking frees the tongue and the mind. Difficult topics can be broached more easily; old hurts can be mended, secrets may be revealed, sadness might suddenly find release, and laughter often comes unexpectedly. Read more
Only When I Laugh
Filed Under All Posts, Christie Healey, Family, Parenting, Relationships | 7 Comments
For Christie Healey, time spent with relatives is just the ticket.
Many of us have recently spent time with our families over the holidays. Family has taken on a very broad meaning and I am blessed with a wonderful family of choice. But, for now I want to reflect upon those persons in our family that we had no choice of selection. Time spent with the relatives can be revealing, precious, stressful, hilarious, and restorative.
My former father-in-law comes to mind when I think of some of the adjectives I used above. He is an extraordinary person, a man of great persistence in certain areas. He loved golf. No, I mean he really loved golf. Practiced for over 50 years with no noticeable signs of improvement. He would swing a club in the apartment we shared whenever the obsession took over. Chips out of the concrete beam in the living room bear witness to his fervour. After some pleas, he agreed to use the “air” practice swing. One evening he was found lying on the floor in the bedroom. “What happened?” we cried. “I was going for distance,” he responded. Read more
It’s 5:00 PM. Do You Know Where Your Vodka Is?
Filed Under All Posts, Connie Stetson, Relationships | 8 Comments
Keeping up with your girlfriends can be a challenge. Connie Stetson offers up a solution that is shaken, stirred and intoxicating.
“It’s 5:00 PM. Do you know where your vodka is?” Okay, I actually stole that line from my pal, Barbara. It was just too funny not to use and she’s a funny girl, especially around cocktail hour. I’m not sure exactly how much vodka she and I have consumed over the last 20 years, but certainly enough to be awarded Russian citizenship with full honors. “Nostrovya,” ya’ll!
When I moved up here to Yosemite 23 years ago, I fretted as to how to keep my friendships in L.A. thriving. For a long time, I’d find any excuse possible to get back there. I needed a haircut, shoes, movies, the theater, the Apple Pan, or just the smell of good, salty ocean air, (which I still long for every day I’m in the woods.) But mostly, because I was so bloody homesick for everyone who knew me, and because I had not yet reinvented myself into the mountain bitch I am today.
I’m not sure anymore who’s idea it was to start the Monday Night Martini, but Barbara and I agreed that Monday was good, because nothing was on TV anyway, and who doesn’t need a cocktail on Mondays, yes? Read more
Before the Fall
Filed Under All Posts, Courage, Melissa Howden, Relationships | 8 Comments
photo by M.A. Howden
The change of season has Melissa Howden working on her equilibrium.
We just hurtled into fall. The autumnal equinox has just taken place. But lest you think you’ve missed anything, know this; the actual equinox (etymology = equal & night) actually takes place several days after the event depending upon where you are, geographically speaking.
In my neck of the woods, we will experience equal amounts of day and night within a minute on the 25th and 26th of the month. What does any of this mean? Generally speaking it means that the Sun rises directly in the east and sets directly in the west. It is a turning point—literally—in the year, the seasons being determined by the tilt of the Earth on its axis. It is also the time when we enter into the astrological constellation of Libra, the sign of balance on the scales.
THIS is where metaphor is made manifest. I find this time especially meaningful if not extremely challenging. I’ve been off kilter, out of step, unsure of my center, off my game, call it what you will it has not been especially pretty.
Simply put, I. AM. OUT. OF. BALANCE! Read more
