It Could Happen To You
Filed Under All Posts, Health, Prudence Baird | 15 Comments
Falling by Tom Bagshaw
Like a sign post that screams Watch Out!, Prudence zooms in on one of midlife’s challenges.
Falling. It happens to the best of us. One minute you are putting one foot in front of the other, and the next you’re on your ass. Or your face—with absolutely no idea how you got there so fast.
When young, falling is funny; slapstick even. Occasionally falling is painful, but having friends sign your cast or getting out of P.E. makes it all worthwhile. In fact, there’s a notorious t-shirt that mocks falling:
“I don’t have a drinking problem. I drink. I get drunk. I fall down. No problem.”
Ha-ha. Try that at age 54.
This brings me to the other morning when I heard a crashing and thrashing sound coming from the bathroom. Read more
My Lovely Bones
Filed Under All Posts, Politics, Prudence Baird | 21 Comments
A doctor’s prognosis brings Prudence Baird face to face with her “inner old lady.”
I love my town. What’s not to love about a place where the local doctor goes by his first name (Dr. Walter) and hand-writes notes to his patients?
Recently, one of Dr. Walter’s letters arrived in the mail. I recognized the familiar scrawly handwriting that could only belong to a doctor.
“What’s in the letter from Dr. Walter?” asked my husband.
“I have no idea.”
“Shall I open it?” he asked, ripping open the envelope. “Oh,” he paused. “You have osteoporosis.”
Surely my husband wasn’t talking to me?
I quickly looked around for Sally Field.
Moi, osteoporosis? A flying nun’s disease? An old lady’s disease? How could this be? Read more
Gray Texture
Filed Under All Posts, Beauty, Carine Fabius, Humor | 17 Comments
Can I just bitch for a moment about getting old? I know, I know, there are people starving in America, and I should just be grateful for my wonderful life. And, I am. But let’s face it. Regardless of bombs going off in the world and in the lives of people you love, if a missile has landed in your little universe, you can’t just wish it away. Pettiness and substance often occupy the same space. Life is like that. Okay, disclaimer taken care of. Now can I bitch?
I’ve written on this site before about going gray, and I thought I had a pretty good game plan in place: because it blends so well, start with platinum blonde around the crown, where it’s coming in at a speed rivaling the action in Charlie Chaplin movies; and, that’s been working very well. Until now. Who knew that my nice, soft curls would morph into coarse, wiry pubic hair? Gray pubic hair at that! Read more
Going, Going, Gray
Filed Under All Posts, Beauty, Carine Fabius, Humor | 7 Comments
God hates me. How else can I explain this going gray business? It’s happening all over my body. My pubic hair is going gray. I’m noticing stray grays in my eyebrows. I swear, my skin is going gray, too. Isn’t gray the color of rats? I am particularly not fond of rats, and He is turning me into one—I’m sure I noticed a whisker the other day. Guess what color it was? I’m telling you, God has it in for me. Recently I looked up at the sky, and it was slate gray, for Pete’s sake! I’m taking it personally. On an otherwise fresh Tuesday morning not long ago, I noticed these headlines on the front page of the Los Angeles Times Business section: Read more
Gumby is Fuzzy
Filed Under All Posts, Cathy Fischer, Humor, Style | 12 Comments
I’ll admit it. I need reading glasses.
It took some time for me acknowledge this publicly. A few years back, this was the scenario: I’d be out to dinner at a dimly lit restaurant. It was bad enough that I couldn’t hear (that’s the fashion these days, over-packed rooms with hard surfaces feigning a ‘happening’ atmosphere), but I couldn’t see, either. Casually trying to hold the menu a few inches away, then farther, a bit farther, finally at arms length—didn’t fool anyone. While my girlfriends of a similar age would whip out their fashionable specs, I would scoff because at age 48, I was still able read the fine print, in the perfect light, that is. But alas, I got older and Gumby got fuzzy. Read more
Age Envy
Filed Under All Posts, Beauty, Carine Fabius, Politics | 3 Comments
Growing old gracefully just got easier for me. It happened as I was reading an opinion piece by Meghan Daum in the Los Angeles Times, in which she reflected on “society’s shallow preoccupation with physical appearance.” Like a lightning bolt, it hit me that as aging women are advised ad nauseam on how to bring back their youthful glow, the youthful glow set is acting like a bunch of middle-aged women dealing with the reality of their reflections in the morning mirror. They want to be us! Pardon me, but aren’t lines, wrinkles and sagging skin the purview of women in their fifties? Not anymore! Now women in their twenties and early thirties are running, not walking, to the swamped Botox Store to get rid of frown lines they should keep—for frowning at important things like idiotic boyfriends, vexing career moves, 650,000 civilian lives lost in Iraq and whether to spring for that sixth pair of jeans or not. As you know, once you get Botoxed and the lines disappear, so does the ability to frown. Read more
Growing Older: I’m Addicted to It.
Filed Under All Posts, Courage, Group Posts, Humor, Parenting, Prudence Baird | 3 Comments
Hi. My Name is Prudence, and I’m a Baby Boomer.
It’s not simple being a Boomer. You have to Take It Easy – especially these days with the less-than perfect balance and vision.
You have to live One Day at a Time – I’ve never figured this out, so we’ll just pass on it.
And, you have to Keep Coming Back, It Works!
Okay, that last one is bullshit.
Read more
